To noureshane

Submitted by Becs (United Kingdom), Feb 20, 2013 at 06:11

I really feel for you and understand the emotional pull you are feeling as I have been there and still am!! Our stories slightly different as I met my man on holiday in Egypt and decided after a short time to move out there to be with him!! Thought this was my chance at true love.. All the things you describe I had and some.. He was so sweet romantic etc I felt happier than I had in a long time.. Friends commented on photos how much happier I seemed.. Life seemed great. But after a few months he began to show true colours got very jealous if I talked to men at work always said they wanted me!! I was rarely allowed out with friends only on his terms.. Had to call before I left house etc.. These are just tips of the iceberg.

I went from being strong and independent to isolated, lonely and depressed. I found old messages on Facebook or his phone to past girlfriends talking about marriage and love.. Granted nothing since we were together but it made me question why would I be any different in his long line of love interests maybe cos I was stupid to fall for it.. But as you said he always used ways of talking and explaining to make me feel I was crazy or jealous so then I felt guilty and just backed down.. Towards the end he used to get very angry telling me things had to be a certain way as he was a man and now we are married I should respect him!!! This wore me down so I came back to the uk! He thinks I will return as this made it easier to leave him..

Since being back just over 1 month I feel I am still going crazy.. Despite all the stuff I have explained because he never cheated or asked me for money I don't think he is after a visa or anything but has since suggested marriage again which I refused in the early days.. I find it so hard to let go but know in my mind I have to as we will get nowhere as I can't see my life in Egypt they live very poor lives and the country is in a very bad way.. So I need the same as you to get the strength to push him away.. It's not healthy and making me so sad as he makes me doubt myself when he tells me all the sweetest things but I am sure these words are said to many girls before and I am not any more special..it's hard as I gave him a year living with him every day. I cry most days.. This forum helps me as I feel I don't have anyone to talk to who understands me.. If a friend told me my story I would tell her to get rid!! So what the hell is stopping me.. Why am I waiting for him to make a mistake to cause me hurt so it makes it easier to let go.. It's crazy!!

You are just in the early days but feeling the same but if you can let go do it before you invest more time and energy as even if he turns out to be ok and you get together the Muslim man is ultimately someone who will control you, manipulate you and expect you to be a typical homemaker... So unless you are happy with all those think hard. Wish you luck becs x

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