Beginning to wake up from this trance

Submitted by Cindy (Canada), May 4, 2013 at 16:22

Thank you so much for helping me and showing me that this is just so bad of a decision! As I write this, I cry harder than I think I did when I lost my son years ago. And that is saying just how upsetting and gut wrenching this is to me!

This man has a hold of my soul, and I am clinging to a pillar, holding on for dear life, before he finally drags me in for good! I just read your response, and I cried even harder! I am an intelligent, talented successful woman, who after many years in a horrible marriage, decided to divorce my ex for this muslim man.So out of the frying pan and into the fire. I may as well have tried to work things out with my husband, we are not divorced as yet. This muslim man knows how to say exactly what I want to hear. He asked me for money again a few days ago, and said he felt shame for asking and never will again. So far I have sent him close to 400 dollars in money for apparent application to get a visa to come to visit me for six months.

I think I will call the embasy to tell them please dont let him come here, just in case they say yes. That would be just my luck, they would approve him. And just when i feel like I am going to call it quits with him, a good friend of mine who is also involved with many Egyptian men and she is 55 and they are in early twenties, convinces me to go back to him. But she is the only one to tell me to do that.

My family is now silent, my sister wont say a word to me, for fear that he will react to it. My friends at work think I have lost my mind. I have a gut wrenching feeling in my stomach, I have gone from a size extra large to a size small, and I am an emotional mess. I think I love this man! Then the past few days, he has told me to take pics of what I am wearing today to show him that I am dressing okay to go out and about. And to tell him on phone text when I leave the house and come back home. Oh My God! What have I allowed him to do to me? I have actually considered killing myself, as somedays I wake up and right away,the feeling of dread overwhelms me and I am telling myself oh I love him so much. Its like I am hypnotized or something! Nobody can seem to get through to me!

But you are starting to break that glass, and are getting through to me. But then, he will come on Skype later today and have me right back to being hooked to him today. But as the days go on, I am feeling like the glass is more broken and one day soon it will shatter, and I will be able to run free before it is too late! I am still feeling such a strong love for him and feel that he is different than the others, that this man actually loves me.

But I have caught him friending another woman my age on facebook, when I asked him who she was, he lied to me and said he doesnt know how she got on his facebook and that someone else must have added her. He said is so smoothly and without a blink of his eye or a flinch, that I kind of believed him but had a sick feeling inside, knowing very well he is lying to me, oh he is so lying to me! And so I look up her profile on facebook and lo and behold her location shows she is in Egypt! I ask him about it, he denies he knows her at all. Is she with him there? Is she trapped there right now with him? I know deep inside what the truth is,but part of me says NO, he is a true and honest man. So he deleted her from his facebook, and only has me and my daughter as a friend on there. This very very handsome man only has me as a friend? I don't believe this, he must, must have other profiles! If only I could find them somehow, and I have tried, sitting here like a mad woman all day long searching, thinking i have found him and then telling myself to stop it right now.

I have this dull feeling in my head, like I am on a drug, these men are professionals and they have an ability to brainwash a woman, even the most smartest woman out there, to believe anything they say. And his whole family has sat down and talked to me, smiling and waving to me, are they for real? Or are they in on this too? Or are they just happy to see that their son has found someone? I am twice his age! How can they be happy with that?? What is going on here? I am so confused, but I have to have the courage to delete him off of facebook and be done with this. It may take a few more days, but I won't let this continue,or it will kill me in the end. I am not so strong anymore. I consider you to be my guardian angel. I asked God to send me a sign, to save me from myself, and I feel this is His answer to my prayers.

Thank you so much, I feel like I am almost there!

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