An American supervisor in Tunisia reprimands a local employee for habitually arriving late for work, and does so in front of the Tunisian's subordinates. To which the employee replies in anger, "I am from a good family! I know myself and my position in society!" To which, no doubt, most Americans would respond with incredulity: who's talking about family or social status? But to Nydell, an Arabic language specialist with long experience in the Middle East, there's no mystery: the Tunisian "felt his honor had been threatened and was not at all concerned with addressing the issue at hand."
Much in this fine survey of Arab mores will surprise the novice; old hands might find explanations for recognizable but somewhat inscrutable patterns. Some highlights:
- Doing favors is much more a part of friendship among Arabs than Westerners.
- A good personal relationship "is the most important single factor in doing business successfully with Arabs."
- "To Arabs, honor is more important than facts."
- "People are more important than rules."
- Good manners are "the most salient factor" in evaluating character.
Nydell rightly points out that Westerners resident in Arab countries automatically belong to the upper class, with all the benefits (social prestige) and obligations (good grooming, no manual work in public) that that implies. "Family loyalty and obligations take precedence over loyalty to friends or the demands of a job." Nothing path-breaking here, but true and useful insights.
June 1, 1997 addendum: Shabtai Teveth, The Cursed Blessing: The Story of Israel's Occupation of the West Bank (1970) recounts an anecdote from September 1967, just after Israel conquered the West Bank.
Zvi Ofer served as the first military commander of Hebron and Nablus. Hamdi Canaan was the mayor of Nablus.
[On] Friday 22 September, Ofer's deputy invited Hamdi Canaan to be at the Governor's office at 10 a.m. Ofer wished to inform him of the steps to be taken against Nablus and to explain them. He also had need of the municipality for the mosque loudspeakers required to keep the inhabitants informed. The deputy did not find Canaan in his office and phoned him at his son's store.
"Mr Canaan, I wish to invite you to a meeting with the Governor in his office at 10 a.m."
"Tell the Governor I won't be coming."
On hearing this, Ofer ordered his deputy to repeat the invitation. But Canaan was adamant, even after the deputy explained that Ofer had things to say of importance to him and to Nablus. Ofer told his deputy to call a third time. "I am not coming and you can send the police to fetch me by force," said Canaan.
Later, Canaan explained the reason for his refusal by the fact that at his last meeting, on entering Ofer's office, the latter had remained seated, had not risen from his chair in his honour, and had ignored his outstretched hand. He did not want to experience further personal humiliation.
Probably Ofer's offensive attitude was more than just an excuse on Canaan's part, but it can be assumed that it was not the only reason for his refusal.
