Minutes of SPLC Committee For Public Safety

Submitted by Dave (United States), Nov 6, 2016 at 10:27

Meeting called to order by Chairman Danton at 7:15 pm, Quintidi , Brumaire, Year I.

Order of business: Summary judgements for Enemies of the Revolution.

Case 1: Ayaan Hirsi Ali. Charged with Islamophobia. In evidence, published book for "reforming" Islam, openly criticized Islam. Citizen Marat: "She's shown disrespect to oppressed peoples, associated with extremist fascists like Robert Spencer. Mort! Coupez la tete!". Judgement entered.

Case 2: David Horowitz . Charged with association with reactionary elements, Republican, fascist Islamophobe, Enemy of the People. Citizen Robespierre: "He betrayed his revolutionary antecedents; he is a traitor. A la guillotine!". Judgement entered.

Case 3: Dr. Daniel Pipes. Charged with association with racist, reactionary elements, Islamophobia, enemy of the Revolution. Citizen Marat: "He disrespects Muslim women, wants to ban traditional Muslim dress, has backed imperialist military actions against Muslims. Judgement: Mort!" Court gnome laughs hysterically and screams :"Coupez la tete! Coupez la tete!".

Chairman Danton: "Mais, attendez! Doctor Pipes has only called for banning face coverings for security reasons, otherwise he has defended all other dress items. Peut-etre just the dungeon in the bastille for ten years?" Citizen Robespierre takes the floor: "Chairman Danton, do I detect reactionary tendencies in you? The Revolution will not tolerate such internal subversion. Seize him! A la guillotine avec toi et Doctor Pipes, tous les deux!" The court gnome goes berserk, jumps up and down: "Coupez la tete! Coupez la tete!". Pandemonium erupts. "Order! Order!"

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