We're stupid if we DON'T profile

Submitted by luke (United States), Sep 22, 2004 at 17:02

Politically Correct, To A Fault (and this was written before the recent outrages in Madrid, Beslan, Israel and Iraq)

To ensure we Americans never offend anyone – particularly fanatics intent on killing us – airport screeners are not allowed to profile people.

They will, however, continue to perform random searches of 80-year-old women, little kids, airline pilots with proper identification, Secret Service agents who are members of the President's security detail, and 85-year old Congressmen with mental hips (these all have taken place- with the Congressman undergoing a strip search!) Let's pause a moment and take the following test which entails a history of contemporary terrorism (we Americans have such short memory spans) in chronological order:

In 1970: American University of Beirut President, Malcolm Kerr, was murdered in Beirut, Lebanon by:
A. Huey, Dewie and Louie
B. Heckle and Jeckle
C. Sylvester and Tweetie or
D. Muslim "extremists" mostly between the ages 17 and 40.


In September 1970, TWA Flight #741 and Pan Am Flight #93 were hijacked by:
A. The Marx Bros.
B. The Smothers Bros.
C. The Franciscan Brothers or
D. Muslim "extremists" mostly between the ages of 17 and 40 (in the case of the so-called Popular Front for the Liberation of Palestine (PFLP) who then flew the planes to Amman, Jordan).


In 1972, 11 Israeli athletes were killed in the Munich Olympics by:
A. Grandma Moses
B. The night cleaning crew at Rockefeller Center
C. Invaders from Mars or
D. Muslim "extremists" mostly between the ages of 17 and 40.


In March 1973, U.S. Ambassador Cleo Noel & DCM George Moose were murdered in Khartoum Sudan by:
A. Tom & Jerry
B. Ben & Jerry
C. Dean & Jerry
D. Muslim "extremists" mostly between the ages of 17 and 40


In June 1976 U.S. Ambassador, Francis Meloy and Two other Americans were killed in Lebanon by:
A. The Lennon Sisters
B. The Pointer Sisters
C. The Sisters of Mercy
D. Muslim "extremists" mostly between the ages of 17 and 40


In 1979, The U.S. Embassy in Iran was taken over and embassy officials held hostage for 14 months by:
A. Norwegians from the Lichen Herbarium of the University of Oslo;
B. Elvis;
C. A tour bus filled with 80-year-old women; or
D. Muslim "extremists" mostly between the ages of 17 and 40


In April 1983, U.S. Embassy in Beirut was attacked with 49 killed and 120 wounded by:
A. The Three Stooges
B. The Three Musketeers
C. The Three Blind Mice or
D. Muslim "extremists" mostly between the ages of 17 and 40


In October 1983, the U.S. Marine barracks in Beirut was blown up killing 241 U.S. Marines and injuring hundreds of others by:
A. A Pizza delivery boy;
B. Crazed Feminists complaining that having to throw a grenade is the beyond its burst radius in basic training was an unfair and sexist job requirement;
C. Geraldo Rivera making up for a slow news day; or
D. Muslim "extremists" mostly between the ages of 17 and 40


In June 1984, TWA flight #847 to Athens was hijacked to Beirut and U.S. Navy diver Robert Stethem was brutally murdered by:
A. Alan King;
A. Rodney King;
C. B.B. King; or
D. Muslim "extremists" mostly between the ages of 17 and 40


September 1984, William Buckley, CIA station chief in Beirut, was kidnapped tortured and murdered by:
A. Jerry Lewis
B. Carl Lewis;
C. Shari Lewis; or
D. Muslim "extremists" mostly between the ages of 17 and 40


Also in September 1984, The U.S. embassy annex in East Beirut was bombed and two American's were killed by:
A. Hugh Grant
B. Cary Grant;
C. Ulysses S. Grant; or
D. Muslim "extremists" mostly between the ages of 17 and 40


In October 1985, the Achille Lauro cruise ship was hijacked and an elderly American man (Leon Klinghoffer) in a wheelchair was ruthlessly murdered by:
A. The Vienna Boys Choir
B. The Harlem Globetrotters
C. The French Foreign Legion; or
D. Muslim "extremists" mostly between the ages of 17 and 40


In September 1986 Pam Am Flight #73 was hijacked in Karachi, Pakistan and 17 people were killed, 150 wounded by:
A. A Polish Polka Band
B. A Spanish flamenco troupe
C. A group of Argentinean gauchos or
D. Muslim "extremists" mostly between the ages of 17 and 40


In February 1988: William Higgins kidnapped in Lebanon and murdered by:
A. Members of the AARP
B. Members of the AAA
C. Members of AA or
D. Muslim "extremists" mostly between the ages of 17 and 40


In December 1988, Pan Am flight 103 was bombed and 270 people killed by:
A. Luca Brazzi, for not being given part in "God Father 2"
B. The Tooth Fairy;
C. Butch and Sundance, who had a few sticks of dynamite left from their train mission; or
D. Muslim "extremists" mostly between the ages of 17 and 40


In 1993, the World Trade Center was bombed, six killed, hundreds injured by:
A. The entire cast of "Cats";
B. Martha Stewart
C. Cheese-crazed tourists from Wisconsin; or
D. Muslim "extremists" mostly between the ages of 17 and 40


In March 1995, Americans employees of the U.S. consulate in Karachi, Pakistan were killed in response to arrest in the World Trade Center bombing suspect by:
A. Royal Canadian Mounties;
B. Mexican Mariachis
C. Peruvian Indians; or
D. Muslim "extremists" mostly between the ages of 17 and 40


In November 1995, U.S. troops were attacked in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia and five Americans were killed by:
A. A Hassidic Rabbi;
B. A Jesuit Priest
C. An Amish Farmer; or
D. Muslim "extremists" mostly between the ages of 17 and 40


In June 1996, U.S. Marine barracks in Dhahran, Saudi Arabia bombed; 19 Americans were killed by:
A. Sigfried and Roy after having been mistaken for Liberace impersonators
B. Shannon Dougherty
C. Anna Nicole Smith; or
D. Muslim "extremists" mostly between the ages of 17 and 40


In 1998, the U.S. embassies in Kenya and Tanzania were bombed by:
A. Mr. Rogers;
B. Hillary, to distract attention from Wild Bill's women problems;
C. The World Wrestling Foundation to promote its next villain "Mustapha the Merciless"; or
D. Muslim "extremists" mostly between the ages of 17 and 40


On October 12, 2000, the USS Cole was attacked, 17 crew members were killed and 39 others injured by:
A. The little old lady from Pasadena;
B. A coalminer's daughter;
C. The Swiss Guard
D. Muslim "extremists" mostly between the ages of 17 and 40


09/11/01, four airlines were hijacked and destroyed by:
A. Bugs Bunny, Wil E. Coyote, Daffy Duck, and Elmer Fudd.
B. The U.S. Supreme Court,
C. Barney; or
D. Muslim "extremists" mostly between the ages of 17 and 40


Hmmm. Nope, ain't no patterns here. Why would we ever even think about profiling and possibly offending the sensibilities of "innocent" citizens?

AND If you don't like profiling, don't blame the poor security official just doing his/her job, blame the cowardly terrorist/criminal that did the awful deed in the first place.

If someone matching my ethnic description perpetrated anything like these creatures have, I would EXPECT to be "profiled" and any anger would be directed to where it belonged - the slime who broke the law!

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