think small - is reciprocity an option?

Submitted by j (United States), Dec 30, 2006 at 08:37

Spain's Islamic board demands do sound reasonable. Think of your own family, you can appeal to Mom and Dad and ask for another cookie, the answer might be yes (but just this once), yes (but you've got to finish your vegetables first) , or no. Depending on the age, stage and nature of the child, each of these responses might be reasonable, but the results will ultimately depend on the child's nature.

In my family, there's the one who pushes, who keeps asking for that extra cookie. Though I've seemingly been asked, no matter what I say, only yes will be acceptable. I can say yes if you do something else like eat your veggies first which would resemble the idea of some sort of reciprocity, but because of the child's nature, this will never occur. If I expect reciprocity I will either be dismissed (okay, what you're really saying to me is no), ignored (I'll just take a cookie when she's out of the room), worn down (why can't I have a cookie, does it make sense to argue with me about a cookie, I think this is how eating disorders are created).

As we all learn early on, it doesn't hurt to ask, but that's true only if there is really a request being made, a question being posed. In this case, the decision should be based on what the nature of the demand is really about and then, if reciprocity is proposed, is there any reason on earth to believe that there will be reciprocity or there just be a demand for another cookie.

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