Red Carpet Treatment at O'Hare International

Submitted by Denis Schulz (United States), Sep 1, 2006 at 17:29

RED CARPET TREATMENT AT O'HARE INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT

Willie Sutton followed the bank president through the row of teller's cages. He winked at the blonde; he knew he shouldn't be here. He couldn't believe his luck. It was like a dream. The bank president showed him the surveillance cameras, the alarm system; explained how they worked, how they could be deactivated. Then he smiled; he couldn't give Willie a demonstration, he said, because it would disturb his employees and time was money. Ha-ha! Then he took Willie to the vault.

"Look at this door, Mr. Sutton," he boasted. "Hardened steel, bomb and pressure resistant, triple-glazed electrostatic powder coated…a good vault door can weigh as much as 100,000 pounds. We use a delayed aggress electromagnetic time lock. If this sounds confusing, it isn't. The whole system can be shut down by a single toggle switch on the underside of the desk in my office…Say…did you get one of our complimentary floor plans?

"This is a low crime area and the police aren't around all that much. You will find Car 54 at Dunkin' Donuts at 2 A.M. every morning—you can set your watch by them. Our security personnel are hired through the Barney Fife Employment Agency. We get only the very best. They don't do any profiling; they're not allowed to. They've all been through sensitivity training. A person like you, Mr. Sutton, could walk right in here, rob this bank, and walk out without anybody noticing, provided, of course, you knew how everything worked."

***Willie was on the phone to Dillinger and Frank and Jesse before he realized he had been dreaming. Nuts! It had seemed so real! Well, it was time to catch the plane for Miami. He glanced at the newspaper. Ah-hah! There it was! The reason for his dream! It leapt right up at him from the front page like the first dum in Joe Friday's dum-de-dum-dum. Oh, how he hated that guy. Let's see…what did the article say? The Department of Homeland Security takes Council of American-Islamic Relations (CAIR) on behind-the-scenes guided tour of security arrangements at O'Hare International Airport? Customs and Border Patrol agents explain to CAIR what screeners look for in high-risk passengers? Apologize profusely for past wrongs?

Willie remembers…April 9, 2004, Randall Todd Royer of CAIR sentenced to 20 years in jail for aiding and abetting terrorist activities. It didn't make sense. Why would…

Agents are told that jihad is a struggle against sin. It has nothing to do with violence. Islam is a religion of peace and toleration.

Willie remembers…September 2003, Bassem Khafagi of CAIR pled guilty to charges of bank and visa fraud. It didn't make sense.

More than 30 Immigration and Customs Enforcement Officers have been spun through a cultural sensitivity program by CAIR officials Christina Abraham and Mariyam Hussain.

Willie remembers…Mariyam is CAIR Prison Project Coordinator.

(Christina Abraham filed the original complaint against Thomas Klocek, the DePaul University professor who was fired for disagreeing with a radical Muslim student organization, Students for Justice in Palestine. Christina demanded an immediate firing—no hearing, no nothing. Klocek had not shown the proper deference and respect to one of DePaul's most cherished and protected minorities—Muslim student radicals. Klocek had raised his voice above a whisper. He had defended Israel's right to exist—he had not shouted "Death to Palestine."

Was he dreaming? There was more.

Ahmed Rehab, executive director of Chicago's CAIR office, had met with O'Hare security employees to explain the nature of Muslim-American complaints against airport security procedures.

(Previously, on MSNBC's Tucker with Tucker Carlson, Rehab had told Tucker what he thought of strip searching. "Whose standards are you using for what strip is?" he demanded. "For this girl, as a female, she has a right to conceal whichever part of the body she wants. Her hair is and her headscarf, really, it just like her blouse and skirt. You cannot remove any of these articles of clothing." As far as Rehab was concerned, the Qur'an and Sharia Law trumped the US Constitution.

Willie scowled…something wasn't right here. If Christians converted to Islam would they automatically have the right to…Naw! That was ridiculous! Air travel is not a guaranteed right. The Constitution didn't say anything about air travel and he was sure the Qur'an didn't either. He had been a pretty good jailhouse lawyer at one time. They shouldn't even be discussing this. Now it if was a camel caravan…

Suddenly, Willie remembers…August 21. 1971, Angela Davis supplying the guns the Black Panthers smuggled into George Jackson at Soledad…a nasty piece of business.

Rehab says Hassan al-Banna founder of the Muslim Brotherhood, mother of all modern terrorist organizations has been a major influence on his life. The main influences on Willie's life had been Frank and Jesse.

On to the computer to check up on CAIR: Omar Ahmad, co-founder of CAIR: "Islam isn't in America to be equal to any other faiths, but to become dominant: the Koran, the Muslim book of scripture, should be the highest authority in America, and Islam the only accepted religion on Earth." It was food for thought.

***Willie missed his flight to Miami. He spent the night and the next day pacing the floor. That night he called John Dillinger. "Say, John," he said. "I think I've got a foolproof way to get into banks…Ever thought of becoming a Muslim…Yeah, a Muslim. You know, them guys with the turbans? The women wear headscarves…Think of it, John. You won't have to wear a mask…just a headscarf…You can hide your gun in it too…No, I'm not crazy! It's called a hijab…Hello, John? John? How about that! You finally get a good idea and the man hangs up on you!"

---

Note: Opinions expressed in comments are those of the authors alone and not necessarily those of Daniel Pipes. Original writing only, please. Comments are screened and in some cases edited before posting. Reasoned disagreement is welcome but not comments that are scurrilous, off-topic, commercial, disparaging religions, or otherwise inappropriate. For complete regulations, see the "Guidelines for Reader Comments".