Plea To Khamenei From Barack Obama

Submitted by Dave (Canada), Aug 23, 2015 at 11:48

Your Eminence, Ayatollah Khamenei,

I recently read on DanielPipes.org that you are considering rejecting the Vienna deal. I really cannot imagine what else you need to sign, what with all the concessions we have made. Why, you can even verify your own compliance, and 24 days should be plenty of time to cover your tracks. Besides, with the Russians supplying the S-300 state-of-the-art anti-aircraft system, and with more arms to follow, you don't even have to wait five years to stock up.

Now, it's been alleged that you are worried about Western infidels penetrating your space, but surely your morals police can take care of them; and didn't I keep my mouth shut during the 2009 disturbances? Also, I never did insist on your freeing the American prisoners as a condition for the deal, so go ahead and feel free to grab all the troublemakers you like.

But really, Ayatollah, if you sign this deal you will help secure my place in history as the first American President who actively defended Islam's image, broke the power of the Israel Lobby and paved the way for peace in our time. Please, Oh Pretty Please! I'll let you use my beach house in Hawaii.

Note: Opinions expressed in comments are those of the authors alone and not necessarily those of Daniel Pipes. Original writing only, please. Comments are screened and in some cases edited before posting. Reasoned disagreement is welcome but not comments that are scurrilous, off-topic, commercial, disparaging religions, or otherwise inappropriate. For complete regulations, see the "Guidelines for Reader Comments".