SPS

Submitted by PezDispenser (Israel), Nov 8, 2015 at 13:47

Announcement for Public Consumption

Some rabidly antisemitic Palestinians suffer from SPS, a virulent virus commonly known as Sudden Pogrom Syndrome. As a close derivative of the historical European strain, the violent outbursts commonly associated with SPS are so unpredictable that they can be triggered by the mere sight of a Jewish individual walking around the "wrong" part of Jerusalem or waiting for a bus. Exterior symptioms of the illness are easy to spot via the possession and improper use of sharp knives and motor vehicles. That said, SPS is often in remission during short periods of relative calm.

To prevent further infection, the Israeli CDC recommends that Palestinians stay away from common modes of virus transmission, such as local mosques, PA and Hamas sponsored television programs, and social media.

A vaccine called MI (Moderate Islam) is currently in development, but will require several rounds of testing for efficacy and safety before its entry into the marketplace.

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