Allah as a virgin

Submitted by Ianus (Poland), Dec 13, 2006 at 19:31

Dear Dhimmi no more , you ask :

1. What if your Allah runs out of virgins, and in the case of Muhammad 3Atta your Allah runs out of boys? What will the shaheeds get?

As unschooled theologically as I am I'd venture the following fatwa.

In view of the fact that

a/ Allah (pbuh) is mericiful and beneficient and he pities his slaves (=Moslems) and

b/ He is all-mighty , omnipotent and all-powerful and no things are impossible for Him (pbuh)

He will simply change Himself into a virgin !

Changing himself into 72 virgins although possible would be a little risky for Him (pbuh) on account of Tawid - His Oneness - since if His slaves (Moslems) learned that He (pbuh) is not one but 72 virgins (or whatever multiplication of 72 might be necssary to satisfy his voluptuous martyrs ) they might doubt His Tawid and start shirk and kufr with all implied abomination .

Thus He (pbuh) would both solve this hard logistic virgin-problem and honour his martyrs much more than what they could Islamically expect . Frankly, which martyr or common Moslem wouldn't prefer to have intercourse with Allah rather than with a third-rate huris or ghulman ?

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