Dilemma

Submitted by Helena Abdullah (Singapore), Mar 1, 2003 at 21:45

I'm British. If Islam is a religion of love and forgiveness, why are apostates persecuted? Before I converted, I was told by my husband there is no compulsion in the religion. I was told Islam and Christianity are the same. Now I am told, and I have read from various sources, that apostasy will mean death. In Christianity, the message that I get when I read the Bible is that of love. Love your enemies and do unto others as you would yourself. This message was ingrained in me and that is why it was easy for more to accept Islam. I love God and I wanted to be in the right path.

Lately, I have been doing a lot of reading on the Quran (a translated version of course, by a valid author). I understand that most people read the Quran back to back but never knew what each verse meant. I wanted to know. It felt just like reading the Bible, but what's most obvious, and troubling, is that there are constant repititions on killing the unbelievers, the kafirs, even the People of The Book. Kill, torture, slay.This message seems to appear on every page. There is so much hatred for the kafirs, the Jews, the Christians. By this, I am troubled, really troubled, because I envisioned God to be all-loving, all-merciful, His love transcends religion, race, language. But such verses only contradict this ideal, and I find it scary.

If I bring this up with the cleric, I'll definitely be called a munafiq for questioning the Quran. And If I ask them why the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) married a 9-year old Aisha and has so many concubines, I will be told that the Satan has had a grip on me.

My quest for enlightenment has led me to this mental state of agnoticsm. I should have just remained ignorant, like everyone else, all accepting, and never asked a single question. Regardless of these troubling findings, my faith in God has only deepened. I am what I am because He made me. And there is a reason for being. If truly Satan is trying to lead me astray, I pray to God He will guide me back.

For now, I remain true to one religion and that is of Love. I will continue to love my neighbours, the kafirs. But I can't say the same for my fellow Muslims. I will love all living things, even dogs and the pigs. I will not kill or persecute anybody, not even in the name of Jihad! We have no right to judge, least of all kill, other human beings, who are also God's creation. I will respect other religions. I will celebrate Christmas and whatever. I will do things because I love God and not because I fear Hell.

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