N and S

Submitted by Lana(USA) (United States), Feb 11, 2021 at 21:09

Hello dear N and S

This is what he wanted-to destroy you and to use you to his advantage...DON'T LET HIM TO!!!!
You are much stronger than you think,but you don't know that yet, until there is a time where BEING STRONG is the only option.
I just wanted to let you know that most of us here got scolded by those men.All of us in this forum were-at a different extent.
Ina process of recovery-after your best qualities were used against you-all of us had some good and bad days,when everything seems to be back to normal, and then-out of sudden,you got stumbled by bad memories....some words you may suddenly hear,old romantic song, some places or events, that may trigger those memories we all hide in the far backs of our heads...
Be prepared for that,but don't get discouraged.
Finding your way to this forum is one of the best things on your path to recovery.
Here we share our experiences and support to other who come here for help and advise.
And also -to show that going through tough situations only make us one lifetime wiser and stronger.
Coming to that point takes time, for sure.

Learn to love yourself again,no matter what.
Remind yourself of how wonderful person you are,how unique!
There is a YouTube channel, called Soul GPS,that has some helpful videos , to help to recover from narcissistic abuse.
Take your time, be by yourself for a while, let your inner self to heal, and then-rebuild the life only YOU know how it should be,do not let absolutely no one to dictate it to you!

I made myself laugh one day when I was at the grocery store and was at the isle of spices.
I picked up Moroccan one,thinking to mysel:"Well, at least something good, that I can use to my advantage now, without being triggered by the name of the country,that poor excuse of human being, that I used to know,came from".
I made a nice meal with it later on, that both me and my sweet husband(a great man,from my own ethnicity) enjoyed that evening.So the last laugh was on me.
He is probably still somewhere else,trying to scam new victims,and I feel really sorry for those who will fall for his lies.
As for him-I could care less.The older he gets, the uglier he becomes, and he is no longer capable of looking pretty,hiding his cruel intentions under his no longer handsome appearance.
I call him driftwood-this is who he is:someone who is incapable of maintaining meaningful relationship ,not to mention, to care for someone, but himself.Let that clown loose!
As for me-I could care less:"Not my circus, not my monkey".
Hugs to you! Stay strong!
One day -you will be looking back and laughing at him!
Cheers to that day!!!!

Lana

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