Advice to Tracey

Submitted by Prashant (United States), May 5, 2021 at 00:37

Dear Dr Pipes, Your reader Tracey from the UK describes her long-distance relationship with a Turkish man and asks us if he could already be married. Tracey's description looks so incomprehensible to me that I think that her letter may be contrived and not real. But anything is possible in love and war and so I will presume that the message is authentic and give her as good an advice as possible.

Tracey knows that the guy is already married to another woman is has not divorced her yet. She is considering this man for a relationship. The twist in the matter is that she sees yet another woman in the guy's bedroom and this woman is claimed by him to be his sister. The guy also happens to be a Muslim.

It is not that difficult, Tracey. You must escape from this situation as soon as possible. Marriages are very difficult things to break. Until this guy's divorce is fanalized and writen in stone, she should not even consider a relationship. He can reconcile with his corrent wife in a jiffy. His being a Muslim is irrelevant so far.

Southern Turkey is not as metropolitan as Ankara or Istanbul. No man should marry without having a place to call home. Southern Turkey is his home (if at all). Does a woman from the UK fancy the idea of living in Southern Turkey?

This guy's religion should also be a matter of concern. Tracey is going to get some love in the marriage (if at all). But this guy will get heaven for converting a non-Muslim woman to Islam and making her children Muslims. His reward is millions of time bigger than hers. Who doesn't like free heaven?

Then there is the question of life-long commitment for violence and non-democracy. Unjust treatment of women (burkha etc), lower inheritence, possibility of additional wives, punishments for blasphemy, and life-long hell for ever leaving Islam are additional issues to consider.

These are all facts, Tracy. Do what works best for you.

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