Thanks Donna for the comment

Submitted by Jessica (United States), Aug 21, 2007 at 01:06

So many times I have been reading such negativity about Muslim men, but never the good. I put out my situation to seek insight on what is really going on. The reality of what our life is really about is not always apparent, unless we take a huge step back or have a complete stranger take an honest look at what they see. So thank you to all who responded to my situation both positive and negative....

However, I must give my hats off to Donna who took an unbiased approach about helping me analyze the situation. The reality is this, Donna my fiance has been stressed even before his family came to the USA. He never ever wants to think about going back to Turkey and even swears how he wishes he had originally been born in the USA. His family on the other had would never want to leave Turkey. While his family came to visit, it was apparent that he wanted to impress them. But he was wrong to push me at being more involved in their ways rather than our ways (him and my lifestyle). I also discovered that his sister was in fact jealous of his and mine relationship and actually took sides when ever she thought it could cause conflict.

Now that his family has left to go back to Turkey, we have talked alot about what their visit has done to our relationship and how our life should really be. I feel l can now FINALLY be the woman that I need to be towards him and the new fiance that he has asked me to be. We are working out our differences and are now moving down the right path. When you have 7 people ( 4 were his sisters family) and the 3 were, my fiance, my son, and myself living in a 2 bedroom condo for 7 weeks, there comes a point when we all need time and space alone. I needed my fiance and little did he realize that he needed me too....

By being the host of the mostest he really put stress on himself and on me and my son.... most importantly he spoiled his sister and her family and she still was not satisfied in my opinion. I too even helped out quite a bit, including researching places that they should go, they always had to do things with my fiance and never did much on their own.... I also made Turkish dinners and researched recipes on line.... despite the fact that I worked fulltime and maintained a clean home while they were under our roof....

Although, I miss them, I know 7 weeks was long enough to be under the same roof... Their is not enough room for two women to take the role as "the woman of the house", and those shoes can only be fitted by me!

I look forward to visiting more of his family when we go to Turkey sometime, but will always be more responsive to let my fiance/husband know that I need some space and to respect that.
Jessica

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