My own experience with Moroccan man

Submitted by hello (United States), Sep 20, 2007 at 17:50

I can't speak specifically to your situation, but my own experiences are telling me to scream, "Sandra, run and don't ever look back. I was reading your story and thinking, I've been there before.

Initially, my relationship with Lahcen was exciting, intense, and moved unbelievably quickly. We were living together within 3 months and engaged by 6. I still don't know how it happened. At the beginning he was sweet, attentive, generous, etc.

Living together changed many things and it didn't take long for me to figure out that the Lahcen I loved was a lie. He was emotionally and physically abusive. He would say terrible things and storm out of the house only to return and claim I was the best thing that ever happened to him. I was expected to stay at home, cook, clean, and wait around for him while he went off with his friends and did whatever he wanted. He hated all of my friends and family, behaving so horridly when they were around, that I rarely saw them.

His family continuously demanded money. The more we sent, the more they asked. Forget about paying the bills and rent, we had to send money to Morocco. His father and his brother never worked a minute. At one point, he told me that his family was starving and living in an apartment without running water or electricity. Stupidly, I sent $5,000 dollars of my own money to his family.

Seven years of marriage to this monster almost destroyed me both financially and emotionally. I am still paying off credit card bills and other debt he acquired and then dumped on me. I paid for him to go to school, bought his tools, and supported him. When he finally began working, he lied about his income and hid his paychecks. He cheated on me-I found a used condom on the front seat of our car one morning. He lied about sending money home-I found a western union receipt for $2,500 in the trunk of his car. He cheated on trips home with his cousin whom his family wanted him to marry. He had a secret p.o. box and they were corresponding for over a year. Women, mostly moroccan, called his cell constantly.

One night, we had a terrible fight about having children and I kicked him out of the house. It was the best thing I ever did. After he left, I discovered even more evidence of the lies and deceits he had woven. I have been divorced from this man for almost four years. I have moved twice and changed phone numbers. He still continues to locate and harass me.

This is not just my story, but the story of dozens of other women I know personally. Please take care of yourself and be safe. It will be painful and difficult to move on, but it will be much worse down the road.

Note: Opinions expressed in comments are those of the authors alone and not necessarily those of Daniel Pipes. Original writing only, please. Comments are screened and in some cases edited before posting. Reasoned disagreement is welcome but not comments that are scurrilous, off-topic, commercial, disparaging religions, or otherwise inappropriate. For complete regulations, see the "Guidelines for Reader Comments".