Please Advise Re: Turkish Man

Submitted by lindalo (United States), Sep 25, 2007 at 10:05

I am desperate for advice.

I have fallen in love with a man and everything he has done has made me think he feels the same. He is delighted to see me; he holds my hand longer than is necessary (like he takes my hand when we say hello and he keeps holding it instead of letting go); he has offered me money-just to give it to me, not a loan-to help me with my problems; he proposes a solution for every possible problem I mention, or fixes my problems if I let him; he has even offered for me to move in with him and he will look out for me and protect me (I have problems at home).

Okay, I am married, unhappily, to an abusive man. I wonder if this Turkish man I have fallen in love with, who offers to help me in every way and calls me beautiful and says I am worth any trouble at all, is he just being kind, helping because that is a part of what Muslims do, helping others? (I don't even know if he's Muslim, but I would guess if he is religious at all, he probably is.)

When I was not sure if I would leave my husband, my Turkish friend said he has helped other people too, and that made me think maybe he does not have feelings for me at all, maybe he is just a good Samaritan. I would rather live in an unhappy marriage than move in a become a burden to a man I am in love with if he only meant to give me a helping hand!

Please help me to understand-is this a cultural thing, that he will not tell me his feelings while I am another man's wife? Do you think I am stupid to imagine he might have feelings for me? I wrote this and am wanting to give it to him, what do you think?

As soon as I leave you, I miss you.

I read about your country-

As if in the rise and fall of empires

I could know your unknowable heart.

I've been told love is a burden,

A responsibility one places on another;

I do not wish to burden you

Who have been so kind.

But the thought of your hands,

The balm of your voice,

Comforts me and leaves me wanting-

How can I miss you if I don't

Know you yet?

Even when I am alone

I am not so lonely, kept company

By thoughts of you.

When I met you I began to awaken.

You have given me eyes to recognize

What I had forgotten-

That the world is full, and our time

Is too short for suffering.

And despite these riches, my eyes

Long for you,

My ears want to hear your voice

Speaking to the heart you made remember

Longing's beauty, and its ache.

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