I married a turkish man

Submitted by Annie (United States), Oct 8, 2007 at 10:13

Hi to all,

I must say that there are times that I find the comments posted here quite interesting and a lot of times right on the dime. But I don't believe this is a cultural thing. I am with "turkish girl" I believe men are men. I have had several women friends where they were married and there husbands cheated and gave know thought to there families.

I do however (being married to a turkish man) believe that in the begining it is difficult because of language barriers that mis-communication can happen. (Now Dina I am not talking in your case, cheating is not a form of miscommunication). We have had several horrible arguments with him even threatening me that he would return to Turkey. Playing a "controlling" role does not work in any relationship.

I told him to go, just leave (after saying this several times as we all know it tends to fall on deaf ears) naturally he didn't. But I saw in his behavior no difference then any guy walking out and going to a bar, or threatening to leave the family...etc... We are very lucky we know longer argue in a way that is toxic, (for awhile I was not sure we were going to make it) but the bottom line is that we love each other, not because he is Turkish because we share some common values, interest and no matter what we both want it to work.

Don't get me wrong, in the begining I thought I made a huge mistake, (because of control issues) but instead of arguing back which would just escalate into two bulls with no one backing down, we both do not let it get that far, and try to listen without imposing each others feelings on each other. we can disagree but compromise. I think we are on the right track. But to everyone out there....Turkish, Greek, Morrocan, American, etc... if a man is going to use you geography is not the problem, culture is not the problem, religion is not the problem. Trust your gut and cut them lose.

And if he is cheating, hmmm I don't know If second chances work, possibly, I think it would depend I am a little more harsh when it comes to this, from my experience if he cheats once the probability of him doing again is 80 % those are odds I don't believe I would take. But who knows what you would do when it's you in the relationship. much easier to give advice as we all know...Just remember there are a lot players out there....in every form

take care to all, Annie

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