Don't Do it!

Submitted by liz (United States), Dec 14, 2007 at 16:12

Hi SL,

My advice to you, after reading your own description of your situation and relationship is, do not go through with it.

Listen to your own advice. If you were your best friend reading what you wrote, what would your advice be? Marriage is challenging enough when you go into it with no major issues. The basic issue of his looking at you as unpure is something that will not go away and will come up again and again. There is nothing worse in a relationship when there is a lack of esteem. How many times can you apologize for your past??

His religious beliefs will colour his view of you. Better to get together with someone who accepts fully who you are and treats you in a way that you are happy with. If he is critical and overbearing, it will not get better, only worse! I was in a 10 year marriage to someone who never accepted me. It was utter hell. I thank God every day that I am out of it.

At the very least, take a breather and don't rush into anything. You can always see how you feel later.

Good luck!

Note: Opinions expressed in comments are those of the authors alone and not necessarily those of Daniel Pipes. Original writing only, please. Comments are screened and in some cases edited before posting. Reasoned disagreement is welcome but not comments that are scurrilous, off-topic, commercial, disparaging religions, or otherwise inappropriate. For complete regulations, see the "Guidelines for Reader Comments".