be careful- I am now divorced

Submitted by iskra (United States), Jan 11, 2008 at 00:31

I point out a few things: First, if this guy has been your boyfriend for seven years, he is NOT an observant Muslim himself (Muslims aren't supposed to date!) Second, he was happy with a non-Muslim girlfriend but is looking for a whole different sort of wife (traditional, Muslim, hijab-wearing).

Translation. He's not really very Muslim himself, but he wants you to knuckle under and "look the part" so his family and friends will think well of him. In other words, he's a hypocrite; and he cares more what his friends think than whether you're happy; and he's pretty eager to make rules and boss you around now that you're getting close to becoming his property; and he's got different expectations of a wife than he has of a girlfriend (read: after marriage he WILL expect you to take on the submissive role of the traditional Muslim wife.)

By the way, I was in a similar situation with my boyfriend -- except he didn't demand conversion or hijab; he just "hoped I'd convert soon". I married him. He went from loving boyfriend to bully.

After ten years of him treating me badly because I didn't quite act like the traditional Muslim wives of his friends, I am now divorced with three small children. And I'm a doctor... supposedly a smart woman! So yes, I understand how easy it is to reach for the fantasy of "but he loves me so much!" Don't fall for it. The guy may be a great boyfriend, but he's going to be a crappy husband.

Best advice: don't marry a guy unless he loves you just as you are.

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