women's rights in Islam -- it doesn't matter if the guy doesn't care

Submitted by iskra (United States), Jan 12, 2008 at 23:53

Haroon, you bring up an interesting point about Islam "guaranteeing women's rights better than any other religon in the world."

I could argue with the statement itself, but I won't. Instead let me raise another point. How does it help a woman in a bad marriage, to know that Islam is on her side?

Suppose a man is ordering his wife to stay in the house all day like a prisoner, because he wants her under his control all the time. Suppose she tells him, "In Islam you should not treat me like that. Mohammed's first wife was a businesswoman and he never treated any women as you treat me." Does this mean that the husband will then throw up his hands and say, "Ooops, my mistake! Go ahead and do what you want." No, of course not. If he seeks to control her, it's because that is what he wants to do, and unless he is a very goodhearted pious Muslim (in which case why was he mistreating her in the first place?) he won't change his behavior because his wife tells him he's being unislamic. In fact he'd probably just resent her even more and be even more determined to crush her spirit. And he has plenty of Quran verses adn hadiths to back him up, about the wife's obligation to obey, please, and serve the husband.

My point is, does it really matter what rights Islam supposedly gives to a woman? No. For her, it only matters what rights her husband believes his wife should have, and what rights he wishes to give her. She either lives with his rules and treatment, or she leaves him. Unfortunately, if a man has grown up in an environment that has taught him to treat women as subservient beings, then that's how he'll treat them.

So please, don't believe apologists who say, "Ladies, Muslim husbands are wonderful because according to Islam your husband is required to respect you and always treat you with kindness." Yeah, that sounds great on paper -- but what are you going to do when he doesn't?

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