please read this- married and alone

Submitted by annie (United States), Jan 15, 2008 at 13:17

I have been with my Muslim husband for over a year now. I can not speak for everyone but I can only tell you of my experience.

When I first met him he was sweet and kind truly a remarkable human being, talked of equality and of being in a marriage as partners regarding everything.

What I got was someone controlling, insecure, lying, selfish and somewhat cold. I say somewhat because it seems to come and go. I have learned to overlook his lies because he is just very immature and I don't believe that our marriage is going to last that much longer. I have made some decisions that he has chosen not to be a part of.

He has ruined holidays, (although I went out of my way for his family) he has never lifted a finger for mine. My family is to say the least quite disappointed in him and they want me to leave him now. Problem is this, I still love him, wish I didn't but I do. Now with that being said I have also had enough. I changed my entire life, left my family and friends, sold my home only to be in"partnership" with a selfish child.

His needs are all I hear about, his dreams his wants. He also has the nerve to say things to me (then apologize later) that he wished we had waited to get married, well as I pointed out to him I NEVER wanted to get married I was perfectly content, it was he who badgered me into it and I went along with it thinking that this would resolve some of his insecurities. I was wrong.

The more I gave the more he took, and take he did. He seems to operate without to much of a conscience. He can be quite cruel in his words and only when I have had enough do the "I am sorry" comes. I can not speak for everyone but I can tell you to think long and hard, this without a doubt has been a very painful lesson.

I am now in the process of trying to find a place to live as I stated earlier I sold my home. I too want to believe he loves me, but his actions are quite the opposite. Oh and the equality thing....FORGET IT....that was probably the biggest LIE of all.

I am a educated accomplished woman and he has belittled me and at times made me feel bad about myself, funny he is the only person who does this, but it's that control thing. Rasim was so sweet I wouldn't have believed butter would melt in his mouth, but once the mask came off (he has told me he can "act" infront of people) not anything I would be proud of I got a totally different person. He is now trying to do something that he is struggling with, he has been offered help from professors he thumbs his nose at everyone. Just be careful because I recognize the charm. I even defended our relationship numerous times on this site. Now I feel like a damn fool.

just sign me married and alone

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