the struggle, the judgement, the faith

Submitted by cinderella (Canada), Jan 22, 2008 at 22:43

Just stumbled on this site. Here's my experience thus far....met a handsome young Moroccan from Rabat named Zouhir (Zouheir) on line. He blew me away when he invited me to Morocco to visit within the first couple hours of our first chat and then stunned me with talk of marriage 2 weeks later.

I am from Canada and 11 years older than he is. I grilled him and reamed him for weeks. He quit is job as a Royal Police Officer with the Military so he would be free to marry me. I agreed and then changed my mind and then agreed and then changed my mind again. I explained that it was not my culture to marry someone so quickly, let alone someone whom I have not even met in person.

At last devine intervention took over...the documents I required for marriage did not arrive before I was to leave my trip out to Rab at. We spent (my 3 yr old and I) 12 days with Zouhir. I met his family (went to his family home almost every other day), I met his friends and experienced his surroundings. He was incredible, so were his family and friends. "He speaks of you often" I heard this alot, as well as "He is a good man". Everything I saw, heard and felt told me that he is genuine.

Is he looking to get out of the country? Ummm...ya of course, there is not much of a life to be made there with the economy the way it is and the corruption of the country. Am I just a means to get out? Hmmmm.....I wouldn't say yes to that either. From what I have been able to acertain, Muslim do not spend a lot of time dating. If they find a woman they believe to have a "good heart" and kind and they like them, well...they marry them. Age and body shape does not appear to play a factor either.

He has one friend(since childhood) that has been married to a woman who lives in Germany for the past 7 years. Every year she comes to Morocco, seems to work for them. He has another friend (since childhood) who is married to a Dutch soldier. I would not call this woman attractive or femine by any stretch of the imagination and he is absolutely handsome. He met her in Denmark, where he was living and working with his brother. Both of these men adore their wives without any hint of a Visa around it.

The fact that my Moroccan expressed concern about coming to Canada. Worried what if he did not like it here or what if our relationship did not work out. Him being worried actually made me happy (weird huh?). So after being in his company for 12 days straight, having a bit of a tiff or 2 while I was there (on top of the ones we have had on line, before and after my visit) and being able to resolve them quickly and get back on track. Meeting and loving his family, friends, neighbours and country, I really feel that this is right and I am preparing to go back in March to marry him.

However, many people home here Canada are shocked with what I am doing. What? So soon, you barely know him (despite the fact that Zouhir and I have been speaking consistently on a daily basis since the first time we spoke). Are you sure he is just not after a Visa? The way I see it, is I am a package deal. Me, my son and my country. He probably wants to bring his family over!

Hmmm...it would be nice to have the 2 siblings here that said that they would like to live in Canada. They are nice people and again, who wouldn't want to leave a place where jobs are near impossible to find and a country that is so corrupt? Maybe I am guilible or maybe I am just very open minded. Tonight I will pray long and hard and ask God for guidance. To confirm all that I believe to be true or to open my eyes to what I do not see. If I am wrong about this wonderful man, it will be the last time. My life (spiritually) and relationship with my family will be over. I will be humiliated beyond belief and will not be able to overcome it.

So what do I do? Allow the doubts, warnings and fears of those around me to dictate what I should do or do I follow my heart and soul? I have investigated all that I could possibly investigate and keeping coming back to the fact that he is genuine. My head and heart are aligned, as it should be. There is one right person for everyone on this earth however unfortunately, they might not share the same postal or zip or country code. Should that stop them from being together?

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