bewitched, bedazzled and confused

Submitted by Cherry Blossom (United Kingdom), Jan 23, 2008 at 11:29

So here is my story

I am a non practicising Catholic and come from a very liberal background. I met an Egyptian Muslim guy at my parents house, and when he offered to drop me home, I said yes and I asked for his telephone number, which he gave. We started seeing each other and quite soon into the relationship, we slept together.

We saw a lot of each other over the Xmas period and the night before he went on holiday to Morocco we had sex whilst I was menstruating. I had tried to tell him, but coyly I admit, but he misconstrued what I was saying and when he realised, he decided he wanted to go home and we argued, I had no idea that this was against his beliefs and although we kinda made up in the morning, for the whole time he was away I was worried and did some research on Islam and realised how ignorant I had been.

He came back from Morocco and was distant but affectionate. I could tell something was up and finally asked him and after some probing he said he didn't want to be in a relationship. When I queried why he had started a physical relationship with me when he wasn't serious- all the blame lay at my door.

He told me I had instigated the whole relationship by offering my number when it was asked for, I had seduced him and the cultural differences between us were too great. I have been very upset about this but realise that we are both adults and must take responsibility for our own actions BUT that my independent behaviour had been viewed as wanton when it was not, due to his perception of how a woman should behave and that is steeped in his own cultural and religious beliefs.

And the more I read about Islam, the more I feel angry because there is so much I would not have known but that he would have known and so what was the point of him instigating any kind of romantic or physical relationship with me. I smoke, drink and love clubbing, all of which he knew when he met me, so why did he even bother?

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