Re: Turkish man

Submitted by Straight_Talk_Luigi (United States), Jan 30, 2008 at 14:59

Thanks for sharing.

Personally, I've never been a fan of these distance relationships.

I think before you considering making the move to Turkey to look at the State Department's Consular sheet for information on that country and think about if that is a place where you and your children want to live. Terrorism is much more common there and hospital facilities are only decent in the private sector. It's definately not like living in the USA or even in Europe.

The other thing is that you and he are okay with you being a stay-at-home Mom. I certainly admire your dedication to the welfare of kids, and we need more parents like that. But, you are wondering about Islam and how that will affect your relationship. I would say that if you are not religious person, there may be some tensions. From personal experience and observation, people are very religious and people who are not religious have to work much harder at maintaining a relationship. He said that prayer is important to him, and while Turkey's GOVERMENT is pro-West, many people live a conservative Muslim lifestyle.

About him being hard and tough....what do you mean by that, exactly?

It doesn't surprise me that he is interested in you. Many Muslim men from the Middle East like Western women and vice versa. Sometimes, it's the different looks, the culture, or the idea they will be doing islam a favor by marrying a Western women and having her and her kids become Muslims. There's lots of reasons why he would prefer you over a Turkish girl.

You also mentioned he seems laid back. Did he tell you he was "Americanized?" The thing you have to keep in mind is that in many cases trouble starts after you are married. Here, there is no green card or money to worry about, but what I see here is a relunctance from you to submit to a conservative Muslim style. I would also ask if that is something you and your kids would want to do, because he might not be asking you about it because once you get there, he'll expect it because you are in Turkey now. An Islamic republic. Sure, it sounds great now over the internet or phone or whatever, it often does, but there are cases where Western women will arrive at the airport and then be coerced by his family to wear hijab and what- not. So, I think if you don't want to be a Muslim---or if your kids don't---you need to make that clear to him. Religion is an issue that should always be resolved before you get married. So bear in mind that once you meet in person, having the views you currently have on religion may not be acceptable to him.

You said it best that Muslims are different from Western culture. They most certainly are.

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