Break Up after 7 years with a muslim man

Submitted by life is beautiful... (Ireland), Jan 31, 2008 at 16:41

hello all,

I had a relationship with an egyptian man for 7 years and leaving in London in UK. I am 35 and he is 29.I met him 7 years ago in a bar.passion and love from first sight. Sex was the basic happiness in our lives and no communication so ever. He has visa and all the necessary documentation.

I started to fall in love with him after 6 months and after we moved and lived in my place. A lot of fights started since he moved with me. He was drinking sometimes, abused me verbally. I am educated person and i am an accountant and i am italian. I came to UK for my master degree and after i started to work, i am living in uk 12 years, but for 6 years i was with an english guy but it did not work the relaitonship and we broke up.

after 6 months single life i met my muslim man and i was attached to him straight way.I was feeling beautiful and he was doing everything to please me. I started to fall in love and after 6 months as I menitoned above he moved to my place since then we have broken up nealry 10 times.2 years ago he moved to another place in order to save our relaitonships,He is going out with his male friends and nearly once per month he wants to have one weekend for him self.

I was feeling rejected nealry everyday.everytime that we have fights he dessapear for one week and after he is coming back like nothing happend and i accept him.He told me that he will get married with me only if i will have muslim kids with him and i nveer said yes.I introduce him to my family and i brought him to my home also for holidays.HE HAS NEVER asked me to do that.When he feels the fear that he is loosing me he is coming back.he is get in to my life and getting out wherever it is suits him.

All the time he is addicted to his mobile he is checking his mobile all the time and many times he is receiving calls and he does not want to answer them. All these years i never felt secure about my self always rejected and always in the libido that one day he will leave me because he is doing all the time.Sex is his main power to keep me. and always sex is so good and i forget eveything.

One time we broke up for 6 months.He was looking for me outside from my house and he was following me in order to check that i do not have sex with another man. I have tried many times to break up after fights when I realize that many times if he feels like he is dressing up and he is going out with his male friends and i am sure flerting with woman all the time.I have catch e-mails and very friendly communications with woman that i do not know.

He never ask me to go to his restaurant where he is working because he thinks that i am mad jealous and problematic person and i will cause troubles to him .I know all his arabs friends but he hides me from many events like his jobs parties and he is telling me that he wants to be by him self with his colleagues. I have to admit that i was never a jealous person in my life, but with him i became but i never followed him or caused troubles to his life because i have some standards about my self.

last week we had another fight and i realise that i have no any future with this person,he is not strong enough to introduce me to any member of his family. All these years i am hidden and maybe an unexisting person for his country. i had a fight with him when i told him that when i see my ex on the street 3 times per year i talk to him and i cannot ignore him, I am over 100% my past but i do not hate my ex and i want to know that he is fine and his family too. I was honest with the muslim man because i have been 100% faithful up to now. He left me in 10 minutes when i said that and i have not seen him since then.

i feel ok and down a lot because i used to share life even if it was a sick life, but everyday he was staying in my place,cooking and sharing the most of our times 2gether but without any promises about the future. I was feeling rejected that a man after 7 years has not told me to get married and if only with his rules that i never accepted cause of the nature of my personality and cause of my principles and beliefs.Always i was frightened to say yes because my insticts were saying that even if i love him one day he will cheat on me and one day he will leave me so easily as he is doing it so often,

I believe that he loved me somehow. All the times he is coming back and i am sure that other woman have been in his life but he knows that if he will ever tell me he will loose me FOREVER and it is something that i can never forgive and he knows.In this relationship i had a bad hobbit i use bad words to insult him and when he was available to me and i knew that he is there for me.I was never a person with bad language but with him i started to use and to insult him inside the house.I was verbally abused him also and i have to say that.

He made me to feel very vulnerable and i do not say that i am perfect, but i have given a lot in this relationship.Being with him in his difficult moments,open my house when he has nowwhere to go,borrowing him money.Just did not happen to me to have any issue and i never asked him for help but i am sure that he would be there for me.

i am single now for 10 days. i am in pain but i started to be realistic and to cope with the idea that he is gone and i am gone and maybe sooner or later i will see him with another woman because i know that he is the type of person who can never be alone in life and especially without sex.

I am not sure if this is something common to arabic world but i think that they have their way to attract woman with that, i believe that only a european man will make me happy or a man without religion. My instincts say that i might be miserable for quite while, but in the end it will be for my own good.

Thanks for listening to my long story.....

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