Digesting and responding.. :D

Submitted by Involved with a Turk (United States), Feb 3, 2008 at 15:13

Thank you Annie.. lol.. you mention the temper, well my ex-husband was a very immature tempermental man himself so that would not be anything I cannot handle..not that it is something I would want to relive, because in fact he was more than tempermental. We can leave it at that.

I do see where if provoked severely, my Turkish bf has a temper as well. I have actually seen this in quite a few Turkish men.. but there is a sense of self-control about him. Now, whether this is for display purposes, or his true nature, I cannot know until I actually meet him.

As far as living there versus here.. I am honestly not opposed to living there. Of course, I will visit there before making a firm decision in this regard!!!

If I am to be with this man, who is a business man, I have to accept that he will not leave his businesses behind.. which I actually understand. Why would he want to come here to try and support me and my and our children, when he is financially secure, established, and greatly comfortable there, and could provide for us a life we would never have here. I know that pride is very important to Muslim men (and ALL men for that matter), and I have learned that partly, to make a marriage work, you have to allow them some pride.. haha!!

Maybe that is just me, but I don't see how he would be comfortable here, as what would he do for work? How can a man of that stature lower himself to the status he would achieve here. I would be making more money than he would, and that just doesn't seem logical to me, in MY situation. I could see where he would become disgruntled, haha..

No I am surprised to find a man like him who would want to support me and my kids... that's sometimes hard to find here in the US when I have my generation of men to choose from.. American men my age do not have the values I look for in a man. I just happened upon my Turk and got to know him on a friendly level for a very long time before we even got together (so to speak) haha..

And no I wouldn't want to be on the computer at all If we married.. hehe.. he is really the only reason I am on the computer at this point.. :D As far as his computer.. well , he has to have one for his office, but perhaps we could remove the home computer!

So let me ask you this.. I am the type of person who, if I were not working.. would for example, make lunch and bring it to my husband at work. Especially if he were extremely busy, you know? And I know this would be hard to answer as I presume every muslim man is a little different.. lol.. but would this be something considered acceptable do you think? Just a small pondering on my part..

I mean.. really how much would I have to change in myself to accommodate this culture?? I spent 12 years changing for my ex husband, which never amounted to any good. And while I believe every relationship has its giving and its taking, and its self-sacrificing, I have my limits!!!! :)

And I tell you, if I think for a moment that he expects me to sit at home and do absolutely nothing and not leave the house all day.. he can piss off... haha!

See that's another thing.. he has a maid or whatever to come in and cook and clean and such... would he expect me to take her place in that regard? Or would he maintain her employ, enabling me to be more 'free' so to speak, to spend time with the children, or what have you?

I guess I should be asking him some of these questions as well.. However I will wait until he brings up marriage again... its a long while before my pasport application is approved so I think I've got time.. lol.

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