Wow...

Submitted by Involved With a Turk (United States), Feb 6, 2008 at 17:17

Hi Annie! Actually your reply has been helpful. Yes I live in the US.

He owns a car gallery and he also has some real estate that he rents out. (Mind you he didn't tell me he had these things until a few months ago.. implying to me that he is very careful about who he becomes serious about. Many of the girls he has been with seem to have been with him only for his money, apparently.) And remember, we were just friends for 9 months before we got together, ... and we always laughed and got along really really well. At that time, he had told me he was a paramedic... I can understand him telling me that before we got together to prevent any insincere interest I may have had.. just a precaution on his part.. If i were wealthy I don't think i'd tell my love interest about it either until I knew they were sincere and genuinely interested in me for me.

He does talk to me while he is at work, unless he is REALLY busy, so I wonder if this would indicate that he would be okay with me doing things like that for him. But even when he is busy, and can't be online a lot to talk to me, he let's me know. It may not be daily, but he does let me know what he's up to... without my asking. Which is MORE than I can say for some of the men I've been with.. heh.

He has also introduced me to his best friend via cam.. in his home.. so that was interesting, and made me feel good in that, he's not hiding me or the fact that I am American, and that he is involving me in "his world". I've always been the type to 'hang with the guys', and I know quite a bit about cars, which surprised him... that's a common interest we have.. so he has shown respect to me in that aspect as well. It was funny, about a month ago I told him I needed to change the brakes on my car, and he asked if i was going to take it to a mechanic. I said, "No, I'm going to do it myself", and he said, "No, take it to the mechanic".. lol.. well I did it myself and sent him pictures to prove it.. and he smiled and said, "You are able!!" I laughed.. I was like.. yeahhhh..!

Now regarding work again, I try to give him space when he is really busy, just out of respect. Like this week and last he has been working on taxes for his businesses... so he's got his hands full.. and in the beginning of last week I had forgotten that he had mentioned it and I was like.. "where are you?" lol.. he reminded me (politely) that he was busy with work.. and while I can be very insecure at times, I have to remember that owning a business, and being responsible for tax information on both the business, as well as his property, can be very exhaustive. Fortunately, I have the opportunity to think about what I say to him prior to sending the messages.. lol... whereas in person I tend to spout off before thinking.. :D Although he knows how I can be in that regard, so perhaps he is just trying to ward off any irritation that would arise on my end from him not telling me what is going on.. but in that regard, it shows me that he is sensitive to my needs to a point. I allow him to be a man, and he has shown me respect in return..

I have been learning Turkish for the past year and a half, even before I really got to know him.. and he is pretty good at English as well.. He made a comment to me in English once, and i complimented him, I said, "Your English has gotten very good" (we talk in both turkish and english, depends on how we are talking at the time), and he said, "Ms. ______ (my name) walking with me..." I was like.. oooohh.. haha..

For being a self-proclaimed anti-romance type man.. he is very sweet and caring, and respectful. But having been with my ex-husband for so long, it makes me appreciate the gestures that he does make.

Yeah, I was aware that they don't celebrate our Christian holidays, and Thanksgiving.. well that would make sense seeing as that is an American Holiday. That is something I do need to consider for the kids.. I'm glad you mentioned that.

My children are 10 and 5. I haven't asked him if he would be willing to educate them, but I am assuming so considering he is very interactive with them and takes an interest in their well being. He makes sure I put them before anything (even him).. which i admire. His moral base regarding my children is very high, which is one of the things that has made me love him. When my oldest child was a baby, I would pick him up and cuddle him.. well my ex would get really angry about that and say, "you're coddling him" he would make crude comments like, "he's gonna be a tit baby" so I really appreciate the fact that my Turk ensures that I put them first... in fact, I think he would be more coddling to "our" children than I would.. lol... My youngest son sneezed and he said, "Go check on him!" I laughed.. so that is refreshing. I love to cuddle my babies.. :)

I am truly sorry to hear about the troubles with your husband.. I can understand fully what you are saying in that my ex husband was much like that. He would call me names for no reason.. I would come home from work and he'd be in a crappy mood and it was "all my fault" and "I was his problem" and he would say really really nasty things to me and make me cry... then tell me, "go cry to your mother" things like that. So I can relate. It is not easy. Especially when the good times you have together are really really good and happy. I was with him for 12 years and while at times it would seem that the outbursts would get farther and fewer between, it wouldn't make it hurt any less. In fact, it made it hurt worse because you start to hope that things are getting better, and when it happens again, it just drops you like a brick. The fall is always harder from the top.

Eventually I stopped allowing him to make me cry, but that made me unresponsive to his 'good side', and unsympathetic to his 'issues'. I fell out of love with him, and left him. He still tries to get me back.. and even attempted suicide to get my attention..

So what city is your husband from? My guy lives in Istanbul. I wouldn't mind at all being at home attending the house, and my/our children, as long as I had the freedom to leave when I wanted.. you know? If I am expected to sit there and not leave without him, then we would have major problems. Because If i have nothing else to do, and I want to take my children to the park or something of the sort, then you bet your a** im gonna take em... lol.. but he doesn't have to be at work every day either, so I am gathering that we would be spending a lot of time together... cars are not only his work, but his hobby... and seeing as that is something that interests us both, I get the impression that he would be involving me in those things.. he sends me videos of cars that his friends bring to him.. his friend has a car that he took to him, and they recorded him doing burnouts in the parking lot of his gallery, and he sent it to me.. lol.. but i love that stuff.. so maybe he is just happy to have found a girl who is interested in cars as much as he is.. hehe.. we share pictures of cars all the time and get all excited about it, and stuff... its kinda funny.

if you want to email me aside from here Id be interested in talking more with you... umm.. not sure how to give you my email address without making it public on the board here.. hmmm

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