Re: Don't want to get played

Submitted by Straight_Talk_Luigi (United States), Feb 10, 2008 at 16:33

There are a couple of things here that I don't like and that you need to think about:

1) You've known each other for three months, and he wants to get married. He got upset when you said not just yet. That's not a great sign, because a lot of times scammers get offended when they don't get their way.

2) The situation with his family not approving sounds suspicious. Yes, modern America and traditional Islam will not have much overlap, but he may just be saying that to get you to marry him.

3) In some of these cases, the real problems don't start until after marriage, mainly because there is a rush to get married based on being attracted to someone from a different culture. They wait until they come to the US or whatever country and then leave. I've seen it happen from Russian women to Arab men who will do this. Remember, when you are married, you are entering into a legal contract.

4) You've brought up religion. You are a Christian and he is Muslim. Just because he talks dirty on-line doesn't mean he's NOT a hard-ball conservative. If there is one thing I would tell women on here to take away from me is that NEVER assume that a so-called religious person WON'T talk dirty to you or cheat on you. Men are men, simple as that.

The other thing is, if you decide you want to stay a Christian, he may not accept that so easily after you are married. Sometimes, these men, with the help of their families, try and coerce you into converting. One of the reasons I think that these international marriages don't work is because the Muslim man thinks it is his duty to change a Western woman to Islam for the betterment of his religion. In that case, he is putting the religion before the marriage.

What stands out from all of this is that he wants to get married right away. He sure seems in a hurry to get to the US, that's for sure. That is always a bad sign. Another bad sign is if he told you he loved you early on. I mean seriously, think about it" true love over a few messenger conversations or e-mails?

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