Heartbroken and Confused

Submitted by Heartbroken (United States), Feb 18, 2008 at 01:55

I have read almost every statement here and now I am terrified. I just want to share my experience so far. I met a man, online of course, who is from Tunisia. He is very sweet like all who have started out when you first met your intended or lover.

I am 29 he is 26 and of course does not mine the age difference. He also told me that he loved me very quickly and I questioned why. He went on about life being short and the harsh conditions of his life so far blah blah. He has never asked for anything and does want to come the the US but plans on bringing his brothers out of his country as well. He studies in the university and will graduate this summer. He told me that in his country after he finishes school, he has to give one year to the army or pay to get out of serving in the military.

Has anyone ever heard of this? He talked about marriage for a long while until a few days ago. He said that his family will not allow him to go to the US unless he has ties into his country meaning that he marries a Tunisian woman. Have you ever heard this either? My heart was so broken. He said that his family will not pay for him to come here unless he does.

So he says that he went and talked to his father and that he has told them that he wants to be with me... of course I don't believe him but i play along...... he says that he can not marry me because if he does he will not be permitted to enter back into his country and to see his family. And to also be there when his family needs him and I don't understand. Why would he not be allowed to go back? He said that he can't explain it, but asked if we could be together but nothing legal as in marriage. He asked me if I could accept this.

He says that he feels that I should not be binded and that I will be binded if we are married. He says that his family counts on him and they count on each other and even if he loves me it is not "their" way. Love does not feed the poor. He says that he has to sacrifice his happiness for his family. He told me he never wanted to break his promises but it is enforced on him to help provide. He is the only one with ambitions on leaving the country and he says his father puts a lot of pressure on him to finish school and finish time in the military before coming here.

Has anyone every heard of something so crazy? I've never been in an "internet relationship" before and I would call someone crazy to fall for someone on the internet. But am I crazy? I tried to study his culture every way I could. I was upset by the most part on how women are treated and that I would be considered "broken" because I am a single mother. I know that it is very different for a woman to be independent there. And I am sure his family would dislike me because I am Christian even though he says his family is open minded. I am very confused and very heartbroken. Any thing to help ease my pain? Should I forget him and just move on?

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