Warning Signs

Submitted by Straight_Talk_Luigi (United States), Feb 19, 2008 at 05:20

First of all, the fact that you have to research his culture says something right there: a lack of trust between you two.

Secondly, what he is saying about him not being allowed in the country sounds bizarre.

I know there's not much of an age difference, but the idea that you are older than him and have a child doesn't settle well with this situation. Many women who have been scammed fit this description to a tee. Why? Because the scammers get the impression that women like this are actively looking for love, if nothing else, for someone to help them raise their kids, and that they are vulnerable.

Most importantly, though, if he is in love with you over the internet, that's a key warning sign right there. I've actually been through this myself, and scammers love to pour on the "love" and sob stories. I don't know how long you've know him, but the quicker the "i love you" comes, the more likely the scam is. I once talked to a woman who said she loved me in the second e-mail she sent!

The whole thing about him having to marry a Tunisian woman in order to come here, what a bunch of crap that is! That sounds like a ploy to get you to accept a polygamous marriage, which is tolerated by some in Islam. And your guy doesn't even seem outraged by it, like he's hoping to get a Tunisian girl and you besides. I think it's a roundabout way of getting you to say "oh, okay, marry her too. I'll be okay with that." In reality, that is not uncommon for North Africans. Many women, even some on here, have told me they were with a guy from there who was already married!

The idea that he said his family is open-minded??? Think about it: It contradicts the whole having to marry someone else thing, right? If they had any respect for you at all, they wouldn't even consider it! And in some cases, the family helps the guy pressure the girl into converting to Islam--once you two are married. It seems to me his family edges on the conversative side of religion, and I would expect that lifestyle with him. The absolute worst thing you can do is think that you can marry someone and change them. It won't happen.

Personally, and I have given this a lot of thought, I think he's giving you a bunch of baloney. The whole sob story on breaking promises is just a ploy to get you to accept him and his family's wishes. He's appealing to your our emotions. I would say forget it and move on. From where I stand, it's already more trouble than it's worth, and I don't see how it would get better.

I know its not what you wanted to hear, and I sympathsize with your story wholeheartedly.

During my first internet love a few years ago, I met a woman who lived an hour away from me and went to a university with people that my brother knew very well. In the end, I found out she had been cheating on me since the NIGHT we got together officially. She had a different guy every other week, and I found out about it because her parents told me about it. They also gave me her computer (which I had brought for her) and I looked at her IM logs, and she was having cybersex and sent naked pictures of herself to several different guys she met on the internet.

The thing about meeting men on the internet is the very idea they are even on there looking for someone says something about them.

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