This is a BAD IDEA

Submitted by Straight_Talk_Luigi (United States), Feb 21, 2008 at 04:30

The thing here that sticks out like a sore thumb is he told you that he loved you right away. That is ALWAYS a BAD sign. People just DON'T encounter true love over the internet in two conversations, no matter how long.

I'll share a story with you: 8 years ago, a woman messaged me on Yahoo! Personals. She claimed to live in a small town (they often do, btw) three miles from where I live. In the second message, she told me she was from Russia, and that she loved me and was sorry she lied to me. I pretty much ended it right there. All she knew of me was my on-line profile, an outdated picture and one e-mail. Would ANY woman fall in love with a guy over that---even if it were Brad Pitt??

The last internet relationship I had was with a woman who lived an hour away. She and I met several times, and had planned on getting married. As it turned out, she had cheated on me since the day we got together, and even HOURS after I had a conversation with her to STOP flirting or I would not date her. The end result for me were a 2000 euro credit card bill and an empty bank account. I really did love her, and she damn well faked her love for me to a T.

The whole idea of "we'll work it out AFTER marriage" is also bad in ANY romantic relationship. A lot of people in these on-line situations start to have problems AFTER marriage, because it is only when you meet in person that you really get to know someone. Think about it: is it easier to lie on-line or even on the phone as opposed to in real life? Here's an example: If you are talking to a car salesman, is it easier to say no on the phone to him or to go down to his lot and tell him not interested?

I cannot even tell you how times I keep hearing about how people get married, and the once they come over here....boom! They want a divorce or just leave one day and never come back. It's NOT a cultural issue at all! I know plenty of Russian women who do the same thing---these American, Canadian and British middle-aged men think they are God's gift to women, marry a 18-19 yo Russian woman, and then once they get over here (which can cost 60 000 euros) they leave!

I can understand why you like this man. I really do. He seems sincere, more well-rounded than the Western men you have dated. But scammers are trained to play on your emotions. Trust me, they are very good at it. They'll even play along in conversations about how bad the on-line scams are as they do it themselves!

But, after reading your most recent story, I am not convinced it is real, and if I were you, I would drop it right there.

Seriously,If you don't believe me, listen to your family on this one. It's really important to get some outside opinions. After all, you really like this man and sometimes that can blind us. You are about to spend money you don't have, as you say, for this man. And remember, marriage is a legally binding agreement anywhere, and though divorce is common, it's a nasty process that sucks up time and even more money.

I'm sorry, I know it's not what you want to hear, but that is how I honestly feel.

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