To Heartbroken

Submitted by Mystic Elf (European Union), Feb 22, 2008 at 18:12

Hi, I'm going to disagree with Luigi; I think that this man has been very honest with you. He has told you the reality of his life, ie. that he will obey his family and has been brought up to support them and he will almost certainly marry a local girl, maybe even a cousin who they will choose for him. It will be very important for him to raise children.

Muslims marry soon after finding a prospective partner and they believe that love grows over time, so when they say they love you in their hearts they may be genuine but you should hear 'like' instead because they do not distinguish between the two. If they are religious, dating is not allowed, but it is accepted in some parts that men may 'sow their wild oats' with western women, especially if they live outside of their home country.

If he does his army service it will give him benefits in later years, sometimes passports are harder to get for those who have not served, or better work.

If you really like this man and ignoring him would leave a void, why not accept that he could remain an internet friend maybe for years, but he will never be yours. He is telling you he is committed to his culture and family and you should bless him for having the courage to tell you before you get into this any deeper.

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