Response to Straight Talk about the warm fuzzies

Submitted by cinderellacat (Canada), Feb 23, 2008 at 05:27

I realize that TRUE LOVE takes time to develop, however I am also aware that in the Muslim culture marriage happens very quickly. In as little as 3 days. If a man likes a woman and feels that she has a good heart, and kind, she is asked for marriage. I didn't get this just from someone affiliated with my Moroccan but also from speaking with Muslims here in Canada.

Their approach to love and marriage is not like ours of the Western world. How does true love develop? Spending time with each other sure helps. By that I mean in person not on a computer. I went to Morocco to meet him last December, although we wanted to marry then I still needed to have that one on one personal introduction and time spent together first.

After spending 12 days with him, his friends and family. I felt as though I got a real good sense of who he was. I paid attention not only to what he said and did but also what he did not say and do. Let me tell you about 2 of his childhood friends. 1 is married to a Denmark soldier, she is not femine in appearance by any stretch of the imagination but he is head over heels in love with her. She is a good woman he said, very nice and very kind. He came back to Morocco to take care of his aging parents as directed by his older brother. He is waiting for his brother to open a restaurant there so he can return to his wife.

His other childhood friend has been married 7 years to a woman from Germany. She lives there and he in Morocco. He runs a business in Morocco and she comes to see him every year (not sure how often within a year). He is head over heels in love with her. Neither one of these relationships have a hint of scam in them.

When we were out and he ran into people he knew (he has many friends) or saw them in the street, he would bring them over to me and say "This is (my name)" was my introduction he gave, beaming with a smile. "Hello, (his name) speaks of you often. I am very happy to know you" was often the greeting I received. He even brought someone over to me that was across the street and said "This is who gave me their (dating web site name) account to use." This account is now closed. I know it for a fact.

He told me that when he told his family of our intent to marry, his mother questioned him on if it was for love or for a Visa. If it is for Visa....she would not approve. No, it is for love he said was his response. His father was not happy that he quit his job with the military but this is the only way he could to marry a foreigner.

I did ask him why he does not marry a Mococcan woman. He told me that years ago he had been seeing a young woman for 5 years, she asked him to approach her family for marriage. He agreed and did. When met at the door by her brother and questioned what his job was. When told Gendarmaire (they are poorly paid) her brother said "No thank you" and closed the door.

A couple of years before me he met another woman from Belgium (on line) They chatted for about 2 months and then she came to meet him. They loved each other very much and she wanted them to marry. He asked her to wait for 3 months because he had to ask to be discharged from the military to be free to marry her. She did not want to wait.

He said that he has dated others (in Moroccco) for a month or 2 but they were not serious and only wanted to go out and have fun, have someone pay for it and the things they wanted. 80% of the women there marry for money first. That he was looking for someone who was serious and wanted the same things in life as he did. That it did not matter where she was from, just as long as she was a good woman. There truth of the matter is that if I lived in a country with poor economics and was corrupt like Morocco, I would be looking for love abroad too. Certainly after I tried to find it on home ground first.

While I was there he told me that he had fears about coming to Canada. What if I decided he was not good for me or he decided I was not good for him or if he did not like Canada. That no one knows what destiny hold for them. That he is giving up his family, friends and country. Not to mention he had already given up his job (which are hard to come by there) to be with me. One of his best friends also told me that he had spoken to him about this but he told him not to worry, he was sure that he would like Canada.

As a matter of fact that before I went there in December and said that it would be for a visit and not a marriage, needless to say that he was not overly happy about it. If you wanted to come for a visit that is fine but you should not have said that you would marry me because I already quit my job. People here will talk. But you are welcomed to come however after you leave I will apply for a Visa to work in Europe. "Will you look for another woman" I asked. "No" he said, I will not start again. "What about us" I asked. "We will continue" he said "But it will be difficult". While I was there I asked him if he still intended on going to Europe. "No" he said, he changed his thinking.

The fact that he has a friend who met and will meet in person, another woman from Canada. Is not surprising for me. Many of the men and ever some of the woman are looking to meet and marry foreigners. Like I said, for a better life, I would be doing it too.

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