Culture and lifestyle vs.emotions

Submitted by sara (United States), Feb 23, 2008 at 19:36

Hi, I am not Sophie but I wanted to reply to your story.

It sounds like you are clear on your culture, lifestyle, where you want to live, your family, etc. Being with this man would force you to cross each and every one of these issues, including a most important one, to raise your own children as muslims.

I know that emotions can be very strong, but in my life experience, I realize that I always knew the answers but often ignored the warning signs and my own desires due to being in a cloud of 'love'. Love is really able to exist and flourish when you are with someone who shares your dreams, your lifestyle, the things that make you happy. Not when you are having to fight all of them, or lose all of them for the sake of the relationship.

Long term, think about what you want for your life. I don't mean to sound cynical, but there are other men out there, where you are going, who can share your life and have the children that you want to have. Really think about this. You are forsaking yourself for what is acutally a dream, not a reality.

Go back home. Be with the people who love you, start there and find everything that you want. 35 is not so old! I am 47 and spent 8 wasted years with a man who did not share my dreams. I met and married one who did (after I had 2 children with the first). I have never looked back and I thank God every day that I had the courage of my convictions, otherwise I would have never met the man I am spending my life with...

Be strong. Believe in yourself. Good luck!

Note: Opinions expressed in comments are those of the authors alone and not necessarily those of Daniel Pipes. Original writing only, please. Comments are screened and in some cases edited before posting. Reasoned disagreement is welcome but not comments that are scurrilous, off-topic, commercial, disparaging religions, or otherwise inappropriate. For complete regulations, see the "Guidelines for Reader Comments".