Culture and lifestyle vs.emotions-To Sarah

Submitted by Life is Beautiful (United States), Feb 25, 2008 at 08:30

Many Thanks for your reply Sarah. You make me feel better and you are 100% correct of what you are saying.

Yesterday I started the same conversation about that I am planning to leave...my heart was broken when I was looking at him and he was looking at me with this LOVE eyes..and this way saying to me do not leave. When I told him that I have dreams and I have no answers from you, he told me I understand you and I have to let you leave.

I realise after the conversation (actually it was not conversation it was monologue) that I did not get any answers. Basically he will help me to leave because he cannot compromise anything from his culture. I am sleeping very little lately because I am thinking too much.

I organise my trip to Italy and my search for jobs and maybe sooner or later this will be a reality and I will not see this person again.We are so close the last few days like we say the GOODBYE already. It is painful but at the same time I am trying to stick to my decicion and leave. I think that this is the only cure that I will have.

Men are plenty around and I am sure that I wil find one some day to make me happy. I have to forget this one first because I am not the type of the person who can replace people from one day to another but I have to live and I have to fall in love again and I want to be competed by having at least one baby and a structure family because I am coming from one loving and affectionate family with daddy and mammy to kiss each other every day.

I cannot break their hearts and I cannot go against my system for a system that I am against already (I mean the system of islam and the system of the factory of muslim babies I cannot I cannot and I said many times NOT).

If this man had the Guts to stop this system for his own happiness I could live in UK forever and I could have a happy family without religion.He does not have any answer and the only answer that he gives me is that if our children will be muslim, I will get married with you tomorrow, otherwise forget it.

Rules and orders that I am not allowed my soul and my mind to accept them.I should be WISE earlier and to stop this relationship.But I left my self free to follow my heart and now I pay the PRICE and it is painful.I will survive and I will find my happiness again. I will stick to my decision and I will struggle to find a good job in Italy and to go back and built my life there.

Many Thanks for your feedback and to be there for me:)

Life is Beautiful.......

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