thanks to everyone for their response, it has helped me so much

Submitted by Mary (Ireland), Feb 27, 2008 at 15:43

Hi,

I want to thank everyone for taking the time to respond and help me to understand this situation, it is finished now....OMG he is so confusing, basically 3 weeks he told me he didnt know what he was doing..........so i thought he was dumping me then the following day he asked me to meet him?

so i text and said i cant be with you if you do not know what you want.................so he said, oh sorry. so then i said well you finished it. so he said i didnt i just said i dont know what i'm doing, i want to be with you, i miss you, and since he was sending mixed messages (telling me he loved me etc) i thought ok maybe he dosent know what he wants with his life we all get confused i guess, so i met him........

didnt hear from him for 2 weeks after that???? so i thought, ok he needs time on his own.......dumb as it sounds when you really like someone you tend to give them time and try to be understanding......so 2 weeks later i text him and said are you ok, i'm here 4 you etc still heard nothing. 2 days later got a hello how are you from him so i said whats this? what are we doing? he said oh sorry i thought we were friends?????

so i was furious i said omg you are strange......so i said please do me a favour and delete my number.............and i heard no more. god i was so blind to this situation he kept telling me he did want to be with so i thought we were 2 gether.......i was so furious i felt fooled...........because i knew this relationship was on the rocks i believed him when he told me he loved me needed me beside him etc etc he even asked me 3 weeks ago to stay positive..........so made me think ok he's unsure about other things not us...

.i know some of you can be thinking why didnt i see this when i said how things were, but i really did believe we could try to work on things since i have never felt like this for anyone b4...............and he said the same to me. i dont wanna think negative everything happens for a reason and i have learnt from this. not to hate muslim men, but instead use my head instead of my heart when it comes to relationships....i was blind to this only because i had such strong feelings for this guy, and feel stupid that i have ended up feeling ike this....but wont beat myself up too hard...

maybe i was too harsh by saying delete my number but it was only way to protect myself from this sitauation happening again coz i know once the anger dissapears from me and if he contacted me again im sure i would go there again its hard to heal a broken heart and i need time to be strong enough to say NO and not give him anymore of my time. sometimes giving people too many chances can be more damaging on yourself.....

i'm glad i found this blog so i could get opinions from good people like yourselves, as my friends tend to judge him and pity me which makes me feel bad....i needed an opinion from people who do not know me as i didnt want any pity just up front opinions which i really needed.

i just dont understand why muslim men (not all) date with no intentions and when the water gets too deep they bail out......i know this can happen in all different religions and i dont want to stereotype but with my experiences from seeing and hearing this is a very common situation....and it upsets me to think that this is what happens.....so from where i see it now i dont want to be in a relationship with muslim men.........i dont even go seeking men im the opposite........but some men do go seeking women.........the way i look at it is if i dont want to be in a relationship i wont go out there looking anyway.....

so just again thank you all for the responses, it has helped me lots and motivated me to stay stronger.

what i did learn so far about islam is that it is a very spiritual religion and i think its beautiful. i would never say a bad word about it or question islam..........he made me feel like it was a secret......and now i know he was wrong he was using it against me which is also wrong. and that is something that i would never do in all situations i dont want anyone to feel excluded...........

take care

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