My experience with Moroccans...

Submitted by Keri (Canada), Mar 3, 2008 at 23:02

In my experience there are different types of Moroccan men. I have "dated" two of them. The first is young ( i am 38) and comes from wealth. He is spoiled, does not work, and has asked me for money. He is drop dead gorgeous and speaks fluent english and french. He does not pray, and habitually smokes hachiche and has sex. To be with him would probably be easier because he is not hung up on his religion and is more western.

My other Moroccan is the extreme opposite, he is kind, generous, comes from poverty, is attentive, loving and the most honest man i have ever met. Yes, met. I did not know that he had won the USA Green Card Lottery until he called me from JFK airport. I am in Edmonton, Alberta. I was floored. Never once did he let on that he was coming. He told me that he did not want me to think that he wanted me for a Visa or for money.

He lives in a complex that has about 10 other Moroccan men in it. I got to know them this past week. I only disliked two of the men... men who lived with European women and who obviously were using them for sex.

The others were hospitable, intelligent, hard working, and treated me with respect. They knew that I was important to my friend and treated me like a potential wife. We had opportunities to eat together and to discuss religion, culture, etc... I spoke about some things in Islam that I did not agree with and they tried to explain, but also said that even though tthe Koran said things that you had to use your head and consider that that was 1400 years ago. They wanted to know about Christianity and I tried to answer their questions. I told them that although we had differences that God/Allah would want us to respect each other. We talked about 9-1-1 and they had sadness in their voices when they said that the men who caused this were not true Muslims. Muslims do not condone killing the innocent. They said that these men were ignorant and easily led.

They cooked for me, took me out, paid for me (even though the majority only make $7/hr), talked English when I was there, and were not offended when while we were out I inadvertently ordered a clubhouse without thinking about the pork on it. They laughed and told me it was my body.. that they thought pork had disease, but to eat it and it would not bother them.

My moroccan called his mother while i was there to tell her that I was visiting. He said that he did not want to hide me from his family.

He stayed with me at my hotel but was appropriate at all times. Yes we kissed, but he was adamant that we would not have sex until marriage. I know that he does not want me for a Visa. He wants to come to me next and meet my family and friends. We have spoken about marriage but we both want to be clear. At first I said i would not have more kids as mine are still young. He said it would be a problem. Tonight he called me and said, "Kids or no kids... it does not matter... I want you more."

We spoke about how some men are so desperate that they make deals with their Moroccan wives to "divorce" so they are free to marry Western women and that once the time period was up.. the men would leave the Western women and return to bring their Muslim wife over. He said that Allah would not tolerate this as it was lies for personal gain and that they would be dealt with by Allah. These women routinely wait 5 years and more for their men to return for them. He said that if a man was serious about a woman he would NEVER live with her without marriage.

One of the men i met has been in USA for 5 years and just returned from Morocco this fall after marrying a woman. They did not know each other. His family requested that he marry her. They talked a few times online and he went to marry her and spent $12K on the wedding.

If your muslim man just wants a marriage ceremony instead of a wedding, there is a good reason for it... he may already be married. In Islam you can only have one "wedding"... many marriages, but only one large celebration as this is the marker that you have achieved manhood. He MUST pay for every penny of it as it shows his community that he is serious and can support the wife.

My advise is to never send your man money, If he asks you he is not serious with you. A muslim man would never consider to ask a Muslim woman for money. If he won't introduce you to friends and family he is not serious with you. If he is not attentive, but just wants sex, he is not serious with you. If he does not listen to you and is dismissive, he is not serious. In Islam, all decisions have to made together, and then the man is the one who speaks. If they disagree, no decision is made until they do agree.

If his friends like you they will kiss you on each cheek as a sign of respect. If they don't like you... you may just get a handshake.

These are just my experiences FWIW.

Thala

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