ASH>>>DO YOU REALLY THINK HE IS ANY DIFFERENT?

Submitted by DUPED (Cayman Islands), Mar 15, 2008 at 04:10

I started reading this blog when i first met my moroccan man. I thought it was kind of funny because I didn't think that "my man" was like any of these men here. Well, 2 years later, I see that I was wrong. I was divorced for 3 years before I met him and thought I had really gotten ahold of who I was and what I would and would NOT put up with or change for anyone. Boy, this one was smooooooooth!!! I almost became Muslim for him. I almost gave up my family for him.

Started out with him pursuing me like crazy. I hadn't been in a relationship since my divorce and this was totally flattering for me. I was a fun, adventurous, open minded woman and since he was so "into me", I thought I would give it a try. I was not desperate for a man or lonely by any stretch. In fact, I was practically running away, still leary after my last relationship. As excited as he was to be with me, and as much time as he wanted to spend with me, I trusted him instantly.

He would go out and have drinks with me at first, but then, that became haram... a sin... I still went out once in a while, but then, he didn't like my friends and just wanted to spend time with me alone. He said he didn't like it when people said they needed "their own time"... but I loved it because we were falling "in love" and I enjoyed the attention. The sex was fine... oh wait... that's haram too!!! But not as bad as drinking or eating pork, apparently. Come to find out... his "grand scheme" was to make me fall in love with him and see if he could change me. His ultimate goal was to get me to become Muslim... NOT to marry me, but just to see if he could. He had heard that American women were easy to convert. He had converted a girl before, and left her after she told her parents and they said it was him or them... and she chose HIM... but HE chose NOT.

The whole thing was a huge roller coaster ride. Long story... but going back and forth between "I want to marry you" and" It won't work, we're too different"... "I love you, come live with me" and "I don't have the mood to talk to you"... "I love you as you are" and "I won't marry you till I 'fix' you"... "Send me $10,000 and I won't break up with you"... WHAT??????? yeah. he said that. Needless to say, we broke up. I can think of a lot better things to do with $10,000... or $10 for that matter.

Anyways... it wasn't for a green card, he won the diversity lottery while we were dating but made it clear that he wished I had married him to get him to the States, like that was some form of test of my loyalty to him. It may have been in part for money, he didn't start talking about my money right away, but it did eventually come up... a lot... I think it was more for the ego trip of the whole thing... and he is cruel. Sowing his wild oats? Maybe he was already married?? I don't know. In 2 years, I never met his family. I was supposed to go to Morocco 3 or 4 times, but something always came up that I couldn't go... conveniently.

So many red flags and to many things I just totally closed my eyes to or ignored because I "loved him" so much. I was just duped. He is a liar... pure and simple. He is a hypocrite... pure and simple. He had sooooooo much love staring him in the face... and stomped on it. There are so many other details and cruel things that he did and said that it's hard to write it all out.

I look back on it now and realize that he really has NONE of the qualities that I want in a man, but I was willing to settle... but WHY?? HOW do they DO this to us?? They get us used to the honeymoon of the first few months when they are so sweet and wonderful to us and then take it away slowly.... slowly... like the frog in the cold water... then, when you've finally had enough, they will give you a little glimpse of how things used to be and keep you hanging on to that little bit of hope that he's still there... it's still good... hang on a little longer... they get you back and make you fall in love all over again... and then crap on you some more... EVENTUALLY, IT'S ALL CRAP!!!!! We deserve MORE ladies!!! DON'T SETTLE!!! I guess this isn't exclusive to Moroccan or Muslimmen, right?

I learned that if someone isn't treating you with love and respect, it is a GIFT when they walk away from you. Some day, when the hurt is over and I am back to myself, maybe I will call him and thank him for letting me go... finally!!! (Well, maybe I'll send a card with a pic of me and my gorgeous new man... fingers crossed) Because I would have hung on. Silly me. He still calls, but right now, I ignore the calls. I'm not ready. There's still love there. I'm almost waiting for him to show up on my doorstep since by this time, every other time we've broke up, we're back together again and this is totally out of character for me to let him go. I know this is long, but I hope it helps someone RUN!!! RUN FAST AND FAR!!! My mother told me that when I met this one, but I had to do things the hard way. I'm sure there are good ones out there, don't get me wrong... but I didn't get one. Good luck. And make wise decisions. Don't waste your time and your heart on RN.

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