Re: Baby

Submitted by Straight_Talk_Luigi (United States), Mar 15, 2008 at 04:36

Do I feel any different?

First all, to anyone who is randomly reading this, the difference here is that this is not an on-line relationship, so that is huge. I see this as a guy/girl situation that is typical of the West.

My reaction is still concern. I once dated a girl who was getting text messages from some guy. She insisted that he was looking to HER to set him up with someone. Eventually, he started coming after her, and she slept with him on night that we had a fight.

So, I think that the idea of him setting up a friend is suspicious. I would be cautious.

The other thing you did mention was that he won't be with a woman who isn't a Muslim. If you're not a Muslim or planning on being one, then I would say you may want to move on. He's just not going to change his mind about it for good. It just doesn't happen. Most Muslim men are relunctant to get into this because they don't want to lose you, and I think they catch on that being religious isn't the most attractive thing. I'm fairly religious myself, and I didn't like telling women about it for that reason either.

I think you should at least get clarification from him on what being a Muslim is. To him, it may be you staying at home and tending the children and wearing a burka. Before you laugh and say "no, not my man," be aware that most of the trouble with this comes after marriage. I would advise any couple, even atheists to talk about what religion your children will be brought up as. Daniel Pipes article here doesn't lie: If he expects you to be a Muslim, he will expect that of the children as well.

The BIGGEST issue I have here by far is the money. You are not married, or even living together, yet you are helping him. I think that needs to STOP, baby. Forgive my harshness, but you MUST understand that besides cheating, money is the biggest reason why so many relationships fail today. If you cut him off and he objects and gets angry, it IS time to leave. That would confirm to me that he was just using you for money.

The situation that he is using you has some disturbing elements: the money, the set-up, these don't bode well. Especially if he's not working.

I just don't have a very good feel from this situation, and if I were in it, I would stop with the money, and if he objected, I would end it right there.

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