Very Confused, please help.

Submitted by lisa (Australia), Mar 18, 2008 at 01:22

I am writing because there is no one else to speak to, any advice i will appreciate so much.

I met my boyfriend 3 years ago i was 15 and he was 25, i am now 17 and he is 29. Our relationship started off great, He was wonderful and im not talking about flowers and chocolates, just a nice person and really good company.

He is from iraq and a practising muslim, he is a full on muslim. As time past things started to change i would be at his house cleaning and washing, basically i feel like a house wife at the age of 17.. I used to go out, and now if i try to mention i want to go out, its not that he says no, its a full on guilt trip, and usually follows with change of attitude and he will say he's going out with his friends.

He is obsesed with internet and msn, he loves talking to girls on msn, it hurts me becasue he talks about sexual things and has cyber with them. He makes fake profiles to talk to girls, when i ask or why or can he stop, he says because he wants to learn about the girls in Australia stuff along those lines. He also has a ex - girlfriend which he always sees and she brings her friends over and they usually sleep over too, now i dont mind him seeing her but the hole sleeping over and with her friends i think is disrespectful, i wouldnt do it, i tell hime how much i hate it. I mean if i did this, he would go nuts. He loves his family and religon so much, this is why i find it hard to believe he is truely a bad person..

These are things that make me feel i cant trust him, i want to so badly but i cant make myself. Is it possible he isnt lying, i dont want to leave him if he is a good person, because i truelly love him.

As things went on other things happed like i found condom rappers in his bin, he said he friend walked in and they were stuck to his shoe! he then made me cry becuase he said i dont trust him, and i shouldnt question him that i dont understand him. I found a pregancy test on the ground the he said he found it?? i mean come on. He makes it so i cant question him or i dont trust him.

He has never physically hit or tried so i kinda of think thats a good sign right? We have broken up about 30 or more times in the 3 years, but i am always the one to call or comeback. I dont go out much anymore that is without him, i dont drink any kind of alchol any more or smoke he thinks these are bad things and i try my best to make him happy. Hes not very affectionate and quite cold i feel like i have to squeeze to get anything out of him, Then sometimes he will give me that tiny bit of affection i forget all the horible times, but then he goes back to the same old.

I am italian and my family stiil do not know about him after 3 years, because they wont like the idea mainly because of the age gap. Also he doesnt think its the right to tell them because they wont understand. I want to love him and be with him, but i feel the odds arent good, with the family and him. Is he worth the sacrifice? if i knew he was faithful i would be 100% commited, now i feel like i'm just floating in the middle. Am i just one of those naive girls in that think theyre in love? How can i know if he is cheating? Is there anyone in this situation, i feel like i wont make it out ok. please help.

Please any advice i will seriously appreciate, i have no one else to talk to.

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