Dear Susan

Submitted by Straight_Talk_Luigi (United States), Mar 22, 2008 at 20:27

----You know I've been reading and thinking and reading and thinking more. So, here I go. I been involved with a Moroccan man for 2 years now, by telephone, computer, and letters. We talk almost nightly on the telephone. I think the dilemma or should I say confusion is the getting to know someones soul via emails, letters through the mail, and telephone conversations that sometimes leaves someone to a little doubt.What I'm really saying is....in my heart of hearts, I know within the very last fiber of my soul I am so in love with this man in Morocco.---------

Hold on Susan! Your final two sentences here contradict one another---you say there is a little doubt, but right after that, you say you know to the last fiber of your soul?

How can you POSSIBLY know that without meeting him? A girl I once dated thought she "knew" friends she had met on myspace better than they knew themselves. How the heck is that even possible? It's not, Susan. Even with your concession that there are dilemmas over distance communication, it's not going to add any more truth to your situation.

-----I truly feel in my heart he is in love with me as well. Perhaps you'd understand it more if you heard us, but we truly talk, act, behave like an almost married couple.----

Really? Like a married couple? Most married couples have met, Susan. To be directly honest, Susan, most married couples I know would balk at a comparison of an on-line relationship to what they have built up.

We fight over stupid things but at the end of the day we have our pillow talk and laugh at our fights. Our pillow talk at the moment is over the phone....and the reason we are not face to face as of yet, is I've taken my time to really understand him, his culture and macho Moroccan ways...hehehe, yes, he is one fiery Moroccan brat man as I am one fiery american lady.---

I thought the EXACT same thing when I dated someone I met over the internet, and we lived just an hour away. But what happens there is you are having conversations that materialize something in your mind that may not for real. When I finally met her in person, it was different (and much worse) that I suspected.

The one thing you haven't seen is his body language and I'm willing to bet that you haven't even looked into his eyes to know for real what this is all about.

Also, Susan, just because you talk over the phone doesn't really mean much in terms of validity.

I once met a Russian woman on-line who originially said she was from a small town 5 miles from where I lived. In the second e-mail, she said she is Russia and apologized for lying and then gave me this big sob story on how I should understand that she wants to meet an American. In the next letter, after five paragraphs of conversation and after I sent her an outdate picture of me, she fell in love with me. She also immediately asked me if I could call her.

The thing about dating scammers from other scams that get more attention (the Nigerian 419 lottery winners) is that they are not pushovers. They are not afraid to call you, or even meet you, or confront you for that matter. In essence, there is no fear in getting caught, if so, so what? They won't be punished. This happens frequently with women on here. Some of them have been to Morocco on more than one occasion.

The set-up here with the Russian woman was an old-fashioned sales trick based on ethos, or emotions. It gets you to soften up so that you feel OBLIGATED to give them what they want.

"The only thing to this day that really pisses me off about him is ..yes yes...of course I've wired him money...no no no, not lots, and have said no to him and many occasions, but I'm a bit irked today cause he went to a festival (music concert) in another city and wanted me to wire him money. He is working now and I know he does not make much money, but wooohooo he is working!!!!"

Susan, Susan, if there is one piece of advice I would give ANYONE is NEVER send money! In fact, NEVER get involved financially with someone you are not MARRIED to EVER!

I hate to say it, but I seriously doubt you'll never see that money again. My family told me the same thing about a girl I met on myspace. I didn't listen, and guess what? She took the money and ran. There were times when I didn't want to give her money, and called and screamed and gave big sob stories and even threatened suicide.

My girl said she would get a job too. She did, but ended up spending it all despite the fact she made twice as much as I did.

I also met a different woman who said she was Cleveland and worked for an advertising agency. When I asked her specific questions about it, she didn't respond, but ignored me. In fact, the agency she suggested didn't even exist.

"He found a means to pay for the bus to the desert, hotel, etc. I haven't wired him money yet cause he is like on vacation, holiday..whatever..and someway or another he's got the money for this fun stuff....but each time I'm talking to him on the telephone now he is asking did I go to western union, or wire money on moneygram. Pissed me off!!! Seems a little too preoccupied with this money this weekend..arrggh..."

I'll say. And that was the same deal with my girl. Always asking about the money. Susan, this is a SCAM. I'm sorry to say that, but anytime you are sending someone money in a relationship, it's HUGE red flag.

"sometimes, I think he may have another female on the side to help him financially.....that is when he starts calling me alot and talks longer, which I don't mind at all, I love hearing his voice...but I don't know why their is always this doubt in my mind as to where he is getting all this money to call me or go to the flea market shopping, etc. ....again, this is why it has taken me two years to finally decide to go to Morocco. I will go in April or May. We're suppose to be married...but again, I'm the one who is going to forking out the cash for the marriage."

Again, this is not a good idea. You will end up paying for it all, and you won't ever see the money again.

It's very possible he has someone else paying him too. The girl I met on myspace was doing this as well. She was actually in a relationship with me and another girl at the same time. Eventually, she broke it off the girl and started seeing a guy, presumably to butter him up for rides and money.

Many times, these scammers are involved more than one person at once.

"Please be honest ladies, how many of you have done this? Please be honest, how many women have flown to Morocco and paid for the marriage, etc. Also I've learned from a friend of mine that if a Moroccan man is to be married to a Moroccan woman, he wears a ring (like committment/engagement ring) on his right hand. Mine does not wear a ring and I questioned him as to why he does not."

I would listen to Sara on this one. The whole ring thing sounds suspicious.

"The man has never stuttered like that with his english ever before..lolol..I think I caught him off guard. So I said, you say you're my husband, where is your ring that says you are taken?? Duh.....he couldn't back paddle enough and yes, it did hurt my feelings to think he wants me to pay for the marriage in Morocco, get his ass to the USA...but he can't just wear a simple ring for me??"

You did catch him off guard. If they stutter, stop answering questions and just continue on with the conversation like you never even asked anything, then this it's definitely bogus, as I fear your situation is.

It's also interesting he's making a big deal about the ring, but not the henna ceremony.

And you have EVERY right to be angry, Susan. I know you care for him and love him, but this guy is just taking you for a ride for your money, and the whole thing just stinks.

I would just cut all ties with him and don't send any more money. I don't believe what this man says and he is hiding behind his mama's skirt with the whole ring deal.

---

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