Leesa:

Submitted by Straight_Talk_Luigi (United States), Mar 24, 2008 at 19:55

No, it doesn't bother me that you read posts and look to see if what you got is real. I can appreciate that very greatly. That's really what this thread has shaped up to be.

But the problem isn't mine either way, because I'm not the one who isn't sure about a relationship. I just think that you're praise of what apple said is disturbing. Apple or you or anyone else can hate me all you want, but as far as my advice goes, well, that's for YOUR benefit.

This isn't about me being right or wrong and showing up people, it's about keeping women on here from making distastrous, live-changing mistakes. And I could do like a lot of folks want: just pack up and leave or come on every two-months and leave one-liners of "you're a stupid whore if you do this....", but I prefer to explain to people why this isn't good for anyone.

I know you don't post very much on here, and I understand that most women prefer to remain private, which I can understand, but I am concerned about the idea that you're not sure about a relationship.

I would say this: Of all the posts on here, only a few involve relationships that are currently working out, and even those are not entirely certain, and they get very worried if their boyfriend or husband goes away for a few days.

I think, Leesa, you really need to get beyond what you feel for this man and try, I know it's not easy, but try to put yourself in a friend or family member (one that you know in person) shoes and see it from the OUTSIDE. That's the mistake I made. I didn't listen to the outside and scorned people for questioning the love (and it wasn't love) I had for this woman, only to find out she had been cheating on me since day 1, and it's all too common of a mistake, so, I give you kudos for just even accepting the possibility. You're a lot farther along than I was back then, and that's a good thing :)

If one of them were involved the same relationship you are with the same uncertainties, what would you're feelings be?

My apologies if I misread what you were saying, but I would ask you to look beyond that to listen to the other side, not for me or to further my arguments, but for YOURSELF.

See, this isn't about me, Leesa, I've been down that road before, and I'm just trying to help you avoid making a big mistake that will set you back. I'll concede that I am not often gentle or soothing on here, but sometimes you have to grab the bull by horns to try and get people to see a pit they might fall into.

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