Re: Head or Heart

Submitted by Straight_Talk_Luigi (United States), Mar 26, 2008 at 22:09

Thanks for sharing. I've been in similar situations myself, and I can relate to your frustration.

Let's have a look at the facts: You both barely speak and and you're concerned about the internet. You have found him communicating with another woman (who i presume is not a relative).

These are not good signs. In a stable relationship, your partner should not need to go for attention on-line.

I met a woman on a dating site a few years back. Her and I saw each other and lived an hour away. She would go a few days at a time w/o talking to me. During this time, for a period of 1.5 years, she was having cybersex with other men over the internet.

I would also notice talking to her on-line late at night there would be major gaps in the replies. She kept on saying how she fell asleep or was doing laundry. All of which I later found out were lies. She was talking to other men.

This whole internet thing combined with the fact that he doesn't want to work is bad, bad news. And it's not likely to change. Even if you offer to marry him or move in with him, he'll be all exuberant because, speaking AS A GUY, I think he just wants you to care for him. Maybe even to the point where you would do all the work while he screws off on the internet. That's really what happened to me.

BUT, romantically, he seems bored with you if he isn't showing interest.

I think if you continue to stay with this man, you will be wasting your time. It's not cultural thing, it's just a guy thing. And to be honest, I don't think he really loves you. At the VERY least, he's taking you for granted, but what is happening is more than just your ordinary relationship obstacle.

I know it's difficult to face the real situation, but sometimes our hearts get the better of us. That's exactly what happened to me, and it cost me a lot of time and money. My family and friends warned me about it, but I was too stubborn to listen.

I think that you have to be rational here, and your head is telling you something important: that this won't work out. The thing is, people who act like that just don't change.

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