Response to Margaret

Submitted by Straight_Talk_Luigi (United States), Apr 10, 2008 at 20:58

Hi Margaret! I just think you've brought up an interesting point.

"legal" age means so many different things. In some places a person can marry as young as 14, yet many of those same states will not allow a 14-year-old to sign a legal contract.

The issue you refer to is complicated. Women in their mid-late 30s who date men in their 50s is a lot different that a 21 year-old dating a 40-year-old with kids. The reason: the first couple have lived MOST of their lives as adults. There's an article (or was) on about.com about a 16-year-old trying to get the columnist to tell her that it's okay to date a 34 year-old. But see, he said (and wisely so) that this guy is very insecure if he has to date someone so young, and it's borderline pediophilia.

Regarding YOUNGER men and OLDER women, those relationships are rarely fruitful. In the West, it's becoming a popular fling activity, especially in bars. And anyone who thinks that a relationship of 20 years age difference can work isn't being realistic.

Many of the women you see are on here don't meet these younger men by coincidence or by their looks, it's because scammers target people who are in a tight spot and/or desperate, usually divorcees with kids. The see many of these women as vulnerable, and they are right, because they think somebody, ANYBODY, whether its a western drunk or some dopey seventh-century-minded man from morocco, it's better that no one.

It's true with men, too. I can't even tell you how many horror stories there are about men from 40-60 who marry a Russian girl who is 19 and call it love, and then they spend 25,000 pounds to marry her, get over to the US or UK, and once she learns English and gets a driver's liscense, she's history, and the guy is back at square one minus 3 months salary. The failure rate for those is about 70%, provided they even get that far. Just sending a few sappy e-mails and pictures of models from Hawaii is enough to get the guy to send big bucks.

Margaret, just because someone is of legal age doesn't mean they make responsible decisions. I don't know where Western soceity got the idea that on a kids' 18th birthday, they can all of sudden reason like a 40 or 50 year old, but it simply isn't true. It doesn't make sense.

Note: Opinions expressed in comments are those of the authors alone and not necessarily those of Daniel Pipes. Original writing only, please. Comments are screened and in some cases edited before posting. Reasoned disagreement is welcome but not comments that are scurrilous, off-topic, commercial, disparaging religions, or otherwise inappropriate. For complete regulations, see the "Guidelines for Reader Comments".