Hi there KK

Submitted by Straight_Talk_Luigi (United States), Apr 12, 2008 at 20:37

1) Well, first of all, I don't think it's possible for someone to feel true love for someone at first sight. Why? Because you don't even know who he is. I can certainly understand why you are attracted to this man and have strong feelings for him, but I'm sure that I don't have to tell you that looks alone don't make the love you find in marriage.

2) The nice thing about meeting someone on trips or semester abroad is that is that you actually get to see the person and interact with someone of a different, exotic culture, but it's also easier for men to work their charm on you, so it's still fair ground for a scam or some guy who just wants to mess around.

3) The one thing that stands out the most in your story is that he gets angry easily. I'm not convinced it's just because business is bad, especially since you have a lot of disagreements. If it's something serious like religion or role of women in the family, then I'd say it's time to move on right now. I know you're American, like me, but I PROMISE you 95% of the time, what the guy wants, the guy gets, especially if he's religious or comes from a strong moral background, as most Turkish men do. Even if they go to bed with you (which I don't recommend), it still isn't a sign they'll forsake cultural or religious principles.

4) You may have noticed what Dr. Pipes wrote above, and it's true. Even the most ardent, masculine (if you will) feminists give way to these men in a relationship. A lot of times, it's just basic biology. Women are generally more in tune with emotions than men, and a lot times, the men will either have the woman be the religion and family role the way he wants, or he'll end it all (which really just goes to show you how much he "loves" her). Sometimes, the family pressures her a lot too. And really, how a lot of these relationships start is the guy is nice and charming, and in the end turns out to be a total jerk.

5) You also bring up money and a green card. The difference between dating scammers and other scams is that these guys won't flinch if you bring it up, and they are more than happy to discuss how stupid that is and how honesty is important and all that. They'll even threaten to leave to you or be rude to you just get to you to back down and "say ok ok, I'll do it. sheesh."

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