Hi Lina!

Submitted by Straight_Luigi_Talk (United States), Apr 17, 2008 at 20:29

Lina, I thank you for your open-mindedness and for responding. I'm sure this is a difficult time for you as you discern this.

Let me just say as a guy, Western men are as big of a problems with these scams as the scammers themselves, and I agree with you 100% that many of them don't have their act together, and would rather party their whole lives instead of settle down and have a family---which used to be the normal thing to do. And from an overall perspective, I think it these scams are going to increase and get worse.

I know it sounds like a good offer: getting to be with a young, attractive man full of vigor from another culture and such.

And you know what? I have little doubt he's attracted to you. But is it love or lust? See, I'm 26, and I just couldn't ever see myself with a woman who was 47. Honestly, I couldn't even see myself with someone who is 30. Truthfully, I do get attention from a lot of women who are older than I am and are divorced who are in much the same situation as you are, and trust me, there are still good men out there, even in North America.

There are some inconsistencies here. For one thing, he says if you are married you won't have to work, but yet you are sending him money? That doesn't really make sense. And you said he is religious, but yet he is comfortable being intimate? Generally, that's not a good sign, because the thing about Muslim (some Christian men are the same) men is that they have no issues sleeping with a Western woman or a prostitute, but when it comes to marriage, they prefer someone of their own religion and culture.

And I don't think for a single second that makes you a slut or a whore. The thing is, I'm a religious person, but I used to be young and stupid too, and when I was in college I always thought that non-religious, liberal, outgoing women would make an easy time between the sheets, a lot easier than a strict Muslim or Catholic girl, for sure. And that's really how some of these Muslims also think. They have the same desires as anyone else, but in a place like Morocco, it's not that easy to find or get. Not without lots of cash.

So don't let the cover of religion fool you. After all, your man clearly has access the secular ways of the internet, so he isn't THAT sheltered.

I think if you go through with this, you are really trying to buck the odds. In the six months or so I've been on here, it seems like EVERYONE thinks they've got the one person who actually is sincere. And I also think that there's an illusion that "If i can JUST get married, it will all fall into place." When in reality, that's where the trouble starts.

And there have been married women who will come on here and defend their man to the letter and say how I'm a racist or an Islamophobe, and in one case, the couple was married for three years, and he was cheating on her. And there are women on here who are married to these men, and when they go off a business trip and don't hear from them in two days, they are back on here asking a flurry of questions.

So you see, trust and love cannot be built up or exist over the internet.

See, there's a lot of older men 40-50s, who marry Russian women overseas who are 18-24 in the USA. They think its for real because they are American. Well, it is, until marriage. See, the girl comes over here, learns, English, gets a drivers liscense and then goes never to be seen again.

But the real thing here is the money. I have done that before too, to a woman who lived an hour away I was dating. I'm sorry to say that we were also intimate, and she kept on saying how she loved me and how we'd name our kids and all that, but turns out she was cheating on me the entire time. Every kiss, every touch, every word uttered was a lie, and she did it with a straight face. After a person practices this enough (like a scammer), they unconsciencly convince themselves that their lies are true and what they are doing is justified.

I've even had relatives loan relatives money, and unless you have a contract with the bank, you'll never see it again. And I'm glad your not going to do that anymore, Lina, because it's such a shame, but people really are that selfish.

I don't think this is your last chance either, Lina, I really don't. You're obviously and a caring person and a dedicated parent, and I know you are 47, but it's not impossible for you to find someone who truly cares for you.

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