To Isabella

Submitted by Zella (United States), Apr 20, 2008 at 22:38

Hello, Isabella.

I genuinely respect your intelligence and ability to not jump at the first bait that is dropped in the water. I am suggesting you tell your "friend" that you are a western woman who enjoys the finer things in life and when you marry, it will be to a man who respects and loves you. "Respect" and "love" for women are not everyday household words in your friend's culture.

When he said he wants to take you to Moroc to get married, he said it all. The best thing to do is to keep the relationship on a friendship basis and nothing more. No, the average Moroccan male or female doesn't date. When boys reach puberty, they are expected to socialize with other males and this behavior continues until they take the last breath. Marriages are arranged by the parents and the male pays for the wedding including the "bride price". The family does not want their sons to marry a girl who is not Muslim.

Women are expected to be virgins and in some families, physical proof of virginity is still expected. Marriage is for one thing and one thing only, procreation. Unless your friend comes from a wealthy family and I doubt that he does, you will definitely be in for the culture shock of your life. All of the creature comforts of the west are a far cry from what you will find in the average household in Moroc. Your friend is probably being pressured by his family to get married. Males are usually married by around age 27 and if not, you can bet that his mother's primary goal is to find him a "good Muslimiya bride". Your friend wants to convert you to his religion so that all of his sins will be forgiven. Trust me, he has many sins. You are a smart lady and will make the right decision.

Be very kind to yourself and don't get involved with a culture that you will never understand. Just remember that you don't need to marry into a culture where your basic rights as a woman are violated. Good Luck.

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