Re: Amy

Submitted by Straight_Talk_Luigi (United States), Apr 21, 2008 at 18:15

Courting you? Now, there's a word that hasn't been used in dating circles for a while. And I can see where you might be confused.

To some Muslims, dating is not permitted, and in some cases marriages are arranged or influenced by the family.

Well, Amy, first of all, there are a couple of red flags: One is that you have a daughter and two is that he doesn't trust anyone. Taken literally, that means even YOU.

Whenever a guy says he doesn't trust anyone, its a classic sign of insecurity. If you marry him, it will probably get worse, and he will stifle you and limit your freedoms as a woman. Most people just don't change.

Whether you believe in Islam or not, this guy's behavior bothers me. The fact that you two fool around doesn't mean that he's going to be or is getting more lenient on his faith.

Your story has a lot of elements of a Muslim man who is dating a Western woman and doesn't respect her. See, in Islam, it's actually LEGAL to have sex with a prostitute IF you marry her and then divorce her afterwards. Many religious Muslim men aren't afraid to fool around with Western women, but when all is said and done, they will marry someone from their own culture. And I know you're not a prostitute or having sex, but it need not go that far either for him to use you.

And the thing is, your daughter if she is old enough, may not want to be Muslim. Then what? I mean, is being a Muslim what you really want?

I don't think your man is putting forth what he really wants, and that is for you and your daughter to convert to Islam. It could very well be the whole point to him dating you, especially if there is a big age difference.

And the whole thing about "being the one for you when you first met." Come on! I've heard that ONE before from women, and those ended in disaster.

I know it takes a lot of courage to tell your story and put yourself out there, but I hope you'll keep us updated.

Note: Opinions expressed in comments are those of the authors alone and not necessarily those of Daniel Pipes. Original writing only, please. Comments are screened and in some cases edited before posting. Reasoned disagreement is welcome but not comments that are scurrilous, off-topic, commercial, disparaging religions, or otherwise inappropriate. For complete regulations, see the "Guidelines for Reader Comments".