To Kelly

Submitted by Nadia (United States), Apr 25, 2008 at 19:54

Hello Kelly,

Thanks so much for your advice. The man...Mohamed lives in Cairo, and I know that that is a huge city for tourism. He used to work in a hotel so I am sure he came across a lot of beautiful foreign women. So the possibility that he may no be a virgin is likely. However, if he isn't I wish that he would not have lied about it. I am not accusing him though.

I am so happy to hear that Egypt is not ALL racist against Blacks. Actually I am multi-racial...African American, Native American, an Irish but I identify with being Black. Mohamed's skin color is actually darker than mine. The situation is just was kind of frustrating to me because I looked it up and on a lot of posts it says that some Egyptian men will sleep with Black women then marry Whites. People have said that Egyptian parents don't want their children to marry Blacks, so that their grandchildren will have fair skin and straight hair.

People also said that their is a high possibility that he is using me to get American citizenship but for the first year and a half he did not want to live in America, but in the UK. After about 2 years of speaking he asked me where I wanted to live in Egypt or America...I said America and he said that that was fine.

Although thinking about marriage maybe a little soon, but I have been speaking to him since I was 18 and now I am 20. I think that it is sort of strange that we have never spoken on the phone before. Egypt is 6 hours ahead of time from where I live. I always assumed that he would just ask me for my number but he never did. A couple of letters ago he asked me how his English was and I told him that it was decent, which it is. He said that language may be a barrier between us and he does not want that. So I am thinking that he is nervous about his English speaking skills.

There's also the fact that we don't speak to each other a lot. He told me that his schooling is very hectic and that is why we don't talk a lot. When he is on vacation from his exams we speak almost everyday for two weeks, but then when he returns to school it goes back to the way it was before. He says that he hates being away from me and he can't wait until we meet in person.

People say that he is probably not serious but why would he waste 2 and a half years of his life, if he just wants to get a temorary marriage and use me for sex (I don't think getting a Greencard is his goal)? I just don't understand. He definately lied about me not being able to meet his parents before marriage. I so googled Islamic and Egyptian engagement customs. Why would he say that? He said that it was against his culture to bring some strange woman into his parents' home. Oh... I am definitely going to confront him, as nice as possible.

We have talked about marriage, children, children's names, future career goals, the economic situation in Egypt. I realize that Egyptian men can be very charming but he said that I am the closest person to his heart and I believe him, maybe it's niave but I do. He has told me some really personal things about his parents marital situation and about his failure in school, just some really personal things.

I love him so much. After I read other people's comments I tried not to love but I couldn't. He has been there for me to talk when people in my own family weren't. He gets so mad if I tell him that someone was mean to me. Right now I just don't know what to do...I guess the saying is right love is blind, because I still remain dazed and confused.

Thanks again,

Nadia

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