To: Taryn & others thinking of marrying a romantic Arab

Submitted by Julie (Australia), Apr 27, 2008 at 10:35

I have stumbled upon this site whilst researching the phenonomen of Western women & Arabic men. I am with an Egyptian man who I knew personally for a year (we met in Egypt) before entering into a relationship with him. But I have done my homework and am still doing it!

I am amazed at the willingness of western women who meet Arabic men online and then go head first into a reationship with them without researching Islam, Arab culture and the social expectancies etc. I have been with my man for over 2 yrs and have known him for three but still have a certain amount of reservation regarding our relationship.

I do not live in Egypt with him as my employment opportunities would not be the same in Egypt as in my home country but I visit him at least 4 times a year. I am pleased to say that over this time we have learned to accept and respect each other's cultural and religious differences but at times it has been hard going. "Love" is a term used freely in the Arab world - it's in their songs, music, poems, writings etc so their whole basis of romance is wooing their woman and marrying her quickly and that is where it ends for most of the love struck western women as their partner's Islam education takes over.

Sometimes the Islam upbringing is too hard to break and when the western wife can't adjust, the man will return to his village and his dutiful Muslim wife only to leave the western wife broken hearted. Or, the Arabic man will start demanding that the western woman return to her home country because he can't get a visa to travel and she will have to send him money to live and support his family. The eldest son of the family is responsible for looking after the entire family - forever - and this tradition is hard to break.

This makes the whole reality of living with and loving an Arab so much more complicated if you meet him online - you do not know any of his social and cultural history. Fortunately, I have been very lucky and my partner is a free thinking, intelligent and accepting person or I wouldn't still be hanging around. I have seen so many emotional and financial disasters with these Western and Arab relationships and am so surprised that woman will commit to such a relationship without knowing the man, his family or his friends.

My advice, for what it's worth, is get to know him in person before committing to anything and this certainly means marriage and/or money .Do your research please and remember that the Arab world is a mans world!

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